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Jim Kata · 06-02-2004, 04:16 PM

Whats up TFPers? Haven't posted here in a while, but I know I can count on you for good advice and different ways of seeing things.

Here is the situation. I love my girl. Together for 3 years, we've had a couple of problems, but nothing major.
Now, I was just called selfish. Why you ask? Well, because I don't want to take her home every Saturday night.
Now, some background info. may be needed here.
She lives about 50 minutes away...driving time. She does come out to my house like 5 times a week. I try to go over there on the days that she doesn't come over here, but granted, it isn't nearly as much as she does.
HER "profile":
College Student. No classes during summer. During Spring and Fall semesters she has 2 or maybe 3 classes a day, not including weekends or Fridays. And on two of those other days, she doesn't have class until after noon....easily.
During the summer she doesn't work..and if she does, she works for her family business for like 3 or 4 hours every once in a while but not before noon.
So basically, she sleeps in for however long she wants except for maybe 2 days in the week when school is in session where she wakes up around 6:00 am.
ME: Work 40 hours a week at one job. 9 hours at another job. And taking 2 classes at the community college per semester.
I wake up at about 6:30 am everyday. Yes everyday. Even weekends when I don't have work or school. I do fall back asleep but usually am fully awake by 8:00 - 8:30 on the weekends. Falling asleep isn't too easy for me so I usually go asleep around Midnight (at least try to).

Now....Saturdays she comes to my house and we hang out and have a great day and then around midnight, I have to take her home. So I drive 1 hour and 40 minutes (give or take) total to take her home. There have been times where I almost fall asleep. Actually that is about 3 out 5 times. Like hallucinating while driving and what not.
The next day I drive back out there, pick her up and we hang out all day and she drives home, and is home around midnight. Around midnight every night unless she isn't driving.
At first I would drive her home cause she would drink some and I didn't want her to drive drunk. Now she hardly drinks anything and I still drive her home. I do have the option of taking a nap before I take her home to get some rest which helps, if I can actually fall asleep (which I rarely do).

Anyways...she lives with her folks, so she doesn't like staying over at my house even though her mom is cool with it once in a while, but she gets nervous cause of her dad (who is pretty strict). So sometimes when I was really sleepy, I would just go to her house to drop her off and then just sleep there for a few hours and then wake up and leave. But I find out that her Dad doesn't like it when we do that, even though we sleep on two seperate floors.

I can sort of understand that...cause who knows what we did before we went to our seperate floors or whatever, which never has been anything when they are home.

So one day, I don't remember how, we got into an argument about it, because I said that I hate taking her home so late on Saturday nights because I'm worried about crashing on the way home. Well we got to some light yelling and she says "FINE, don't take me home Saturday Nights! But don't expect me to come out there all the time, because I just want that one day not to drive, so I'll take that whenever." or something along those lines. I'm sure I'm making her out to be a bigger bitch than she is, cause she is a sweetheart and does just about anything for me.

So today I told her that I want to have a drunken week since work has been kicking my ass, and that she gets to be my Designated Driver.
And she was like "even Saturday?"
And I said "yes" , because she said herself that I don't have to drive her home on Saturdays. (I'm a believer in don't say it if you don't mean it, and she knows that)
Then she said "You are sooo SELFISH. I just want that one day. When I say I'm tired you make fun of me when I have to drive home from your house."
And I said, "Thats because you are just sitting around all day and you don't really have any reason to be that tired all the time. You sleep til 10 am and are asleep by midnight."

Its one thing to drive sit around for a few hours or whatever and then drive back. Compared to drive there, and drive right back.

Well that was the last time we spoke, about 2 hours ago.

So, how can I explain to her more that I just don't want to die driving home from her house at 1:30 AM on Saturday night/Sunday Morning without causing this argument which always happens when it comes to her precious Saturday Night Chauffer service.

Smack some sense into me, or tell me how I can talk sense to her about it. Or any suggestion on how to work it out.

Oh, and we do plan on getting married so any "DUDE, just break up with her comments" aren't really gonna be takin seriously....well .... yeah, they won't.

Thanks.
Mr. KATA

edit: please excuse the bad grammar and puncuation.

06-02-2004, 04:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jim Kata Swollen Member Location: Northern VA	Am I crazy? Warning: Very Long. Whats up TFPers? Haven't posted here in a while, but I know I can count on you for good advice and different ways of seeing things. Here is the situation. I love my girl. Together for 3 years, we've had a couple of problems, but nothing major. Now, I was just called selfish. Why you ask? Well, because I don't want to take her home every Saturday night. Now, some background info. may be needed here. She lives about 50 minutes away...driving time. She does come out to my house like 5 times a week. I try to go over there on the days that she doesn't come over here, but granted, it isn't nearly as much as she does. HER "profile": College Student. No classes during summer. During Spring and Fall semesters she has 2 or maybe 3 classes a day, not including weekends or Fridays. And on two of those other days, she doesn't have class until after noon....easily. During the summer she doesn't work..and if she does, she works for her family business for like 3 or 4 hours every once in a while but not before noon. So basically, she sleeps in for however long she wants except for maybe 2 days in the week when school is in session where she wakes up around 6:00 am. ME: Work 40 hours a week at one job. 9 hours at another job. And taking 2 classes at the community college per semester. I wake up at about 6:30 am everyday. Yes everyday. Even weekends when I don't have work or school. I do fall back asleep but usually am fully awake by 8:00 - 8:30 on the weekends. Falling asleep isn't too easy for me so I usually go asleep around Midnight (at least try to). Now....Saturdays she comes to my house and we hang out and have a great day and then around midnight, I have to take her home. So I drive 1 hour and 40 minutes (give or take) total to take her home. There have been times where I almost fall asleep. Actually that is about 3 out 5 times. Like hallucinating while driving and what not. The next day I drive back out there, pick her up and we hang out all day and she drives home, and is home around midnight. Around midnight every night unless she isn't driving. At first I would drive her home cause she would drink some and I didn't want her to drive drunk. Now she hardly drinks anything and I still drive her home. I do have the option of taking a nap before I take her home to get some rest which helps, if I can actually fall asleep (which I rarely do). Anyways...she lives with her folks, so she doesn't like staying over at my house even though her mom is cool with it once in a while, but she gets nervous cause of her dad (who is pretty strict). So sometimes when I was really sleepy, I would just go to her house to drop her off and then just sleep there for a few hours and then wake up and leave. But I find out that her Dad doesn't like it when we do that, even though we sleep on two seperate floors. I can sort of understand that...cause who knows what we did before we went to our seperate floors or whatever, which never has been anything when they are home. So one day, I don't remember how, we got into an argument about it, because I said that I hate taking her home so late on Saturday nights because I'm worried about crashing on the way home. Well we got to some light yelling and she says "FINE, don't take me home Saturday Nights! But don't expect me to come out there all the time, because I just want that one day not to drive, so I'll take that whenever." or something along those lines. I'm sure I'm making her out to be a bigger bitch than she is, cause she is a sweetheart and does just about anything for me. So today I told her that I want to have a drunken week since work has been kicking my ass, and that she gets to be my Designated Driver. And she was like "even Saturday?" And I said "yes" , because she said herself that I don't have to drive her home on Saturdays. (I'm a believer in don't say it if you don't mean it, and she knows that) Then she said "You are sooo SELFISH. I just want that one day. When I say I'm tired you make fun of me when I have to drive home from your house." And I said, "Thats because you are just sitting around all day and you don't really have any reason to be that tired all the time. You sleep til 10 am and are asleep by midnight." Its one thing to drive sit around for a few hours or whatever and then drive back. Compared to drive there, and drive right back. Well that was the last time we spoke, about 2 hours ago. So, how can I explain to her more that I just don't want to die driving home from her house at 1:30 AM on Saturday night/Sunday Morning without causing this argument which always happens when it comes to her precious Saturday Night Chauffer service. Smack some sense into me, or tell me how I can talk sense to her about it. Or any suggestion on how to work it out. Oh, and we do plan on getting married so any "DUDE, just break up with her comments" aren't really gonna be takin seriously....well .... yeah, they won't. Thanks. Mr. KATA edit: please excuse the bad grammar and puncuation.