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You need to answer this question for yourself - "what is your goal in your relationships?"
It sounds to me that you don't really care about either of them that much, it is more like a mathematical game. If you're looking for something of substance you should approach the situation in a way that will give you substance.
You know exactly what you're doing, else you wouldn't say "Damn me and my immaturity". Take ownership of it, you are choosing to be immature. It isn't something that is happening to you. This is all in your hands. You need to decide for yourself what you really want and you shouldn't jerk people around in the process.
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Innominate.
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