|
As a woman (but never a rape victim, thankfully) I would add to the above that there is also a sense of feeling "dirty." Although intellectually we know the crime is not our fault, the way society, spouses, partners, etc. react, can bring about a sense of shame. She may question herself: what did I wear that brought this on? What did I say? How come I didn't run? Why didn't I kick him at this point? Playing the crime over and over again in her mind, finding fault with how she responded.
I believe we can help by emphasizing that we know the crime is not theirs. Remember that they are the victims. By loving them -- and when they are ready, literally making love -- with no shaming, questioning, and/or judging.
__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
|