Reese

Okay, there was once this little kid named Johnny. His dad was really rich and nice. Johnny's second birthday was coming up, so his dad asked him what he wanted. He said, "Pingpong balls, daddy!" His dad was confused, but he nonetheless went out and bought a packet of three balls for his son. The big day came, and Johnny was delighted with his present of pingpong balls. He happily went upstairs with them. A little while later, his dad came up to check on him, but the balls were all gone. He asked Johnny what happened to him, but got only a blank toddler stare. Johnny was really happy, though, so he didn't think about it too much.

A year went by, and Johnny's dad again asked Johnny what he wanted. "Pingpong balls!" he said. "Are you sure?" "Yes, daddy! Pingpong balls!" The dad shrugged and went to the store, where he bought two sleeves this time. He figured Johnny could lose one and still have the other. Well, the same thing happened: Johnny was overjoyed, took the balls to his room, and they seemed to vanish. He was still pleased, though, so his dad sorta shrugged and didn't worry about it.

Well, this happened every year. Johnny's dad got him an increasing amount of pingpong balls every year, and they always disappeared mysteriously. He got him a whole wheelbarrowful at age 8.

Johnny was now almost 16, and his dad knew the drill by now. "You want pingpong balls, right?" "Duh, dad. Of course." "Well, normal teens want cars, so I'm getting you a car, too." "Sweet!" The big day came, and Johnny's dad led him out to the driveway, where this sweet red convertible was parked. And it was completely filled with~you guessed it- pingpong balls (no, not Frank Stallone). "Wow, dad! Can I take it for a spin around the 'hood?" "Sure!" So Johnny drove off in ecstasy, and nobody was really surprised when he came home sans balls.

Well, Johnny was getting married to Janie. For a wedding gift, Johnny's dad gave them this HUUUUUGE estate. He airdropped pingpong balls on it until the entire place was waist-deep in 'em. He even built a few silos and filled them, too. All told, there were countless millions of pingpong balls.

The next day, Dad decided to drive out there to see if Johnny and Janie were okay (Johnny had a history of not getting along with girls...) He also was curious if the balls were still there (again, nothing from the peanut gallery). Well, he got there, and noticed that the balls were all gone, but the main thing he saw was an ambulance. Some paramedics were carrying Jimmy out on a stretcher, and they told Dad that he'd fallen down the stairs and hit his head. And so, everyone rushed to the hospital, and Johnny went to the ER. After a few hours, the doctor brought Dad and Janie in to speak to him. "He's not doing so great," the doc said. "He might not survive the operation."

They went in, and talked for a bit. Finally, Dad said, "Son, there's just one more thing I want to know. What on Earth did you do with all those pingpong balls?"

Johnny looked at his father for a minute, then slowly rose to a sitting position with great difficulty. "Well, Dad," he said. Then he died.

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry