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Old 05-05-2004, 02:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The disappearing Pingpoing balls(long but worth it)

Okay, there was once this little kid named Johnny. His dad was really rich and nice. Johnny's second birthday was coming up, so his dad asked him what he wanted. He said, "Pingpong balls, daddy!" His dad was confused, but he nonetheless went out and bought a packet of three balls for his son. The big day came, and Johnny was delighted with his present of pingpong balls. He happily went upstairs with them. A little while later, his dad came up to check on him, but the balls were all gone. He asked Johnny what happened to him, but got only a blank toddler stare. Johnny was really happy, though, so he didn't think about it too much.

A year went by, and Johnny's dad again asked Johnny what he wanted. "Pingpong balls!" he said. "Are you sure?" "Yes, daddy! Pingpong balls!" The dad shrugged and went to the store, where he bought two sleeves this time. He figured Johnny could lose one and still have the other. Well, the same thing happened: Johnny was overjoyed, took the balls to his room, and they seemed to vanish. He was still pleased, though, so his dad sorta shrugged and didn't worry about it.

Well, this happened every year. Johnny's dad got him an increasing amount of pingpong balls every year, and they always disappeared mysteriously. He got him a whole wheelbarrowful at age 8.

Johnny was now almost 16, and his dad knew the drill by now. "You want pingpong balls, right?" "Duh, dad. Of course." "Well, normal teens want cars, so I'm getting you a car, too." "Sweet!" The big day came, and Johnny's dad led him out to the driveway, where this sweet red convertible was parked. And it was completely filled with~you guessed it- pingpong balls (no, not Frank Stallone). "Wow, dad! Can I take it for a spin around the 'hood?" "Sure!" So Johnny drove off in ecstasy, and nobody was really surprised when he came home sans balls.

Well, Johnny was getting married to Janie. For a wedding gift, Johnny's dad gave them this HUUUUUGE estate. He airdropped pingpong balls on it until the entire place was waist-deep in 'em. He even built a few silos and filled them, too. All told, there were countless millions of pingpong balls.

The next day, Dad decided to drive out there to see if Johnny and Janie were okay (Johnny had a history of not getting along with girls...) He also was curious if the balls were still there (again, nothing from the peanut gallery). Well, he got there, and noticed that the balls were all gone, but the main thing he saw was an ambulance. Some paramedics were carrying Jimmy out on a stretcher, and they told Dad that he'd fallen down the stairs and hit his head. And so, everyone rushed to the hospital, and Johnny went to the ER. After a few hours, the doctor brought Dad and Janie in to speak to him. "He's not doing so great," the doc said. "He might not survive the operation."

They went in, and talked for a bit. Finally, Dad said, "Son, there's just one more thing I want to know. What on Earth did you do with all those pingpong balls?"

Johnny looked at his father for a minute, then slowly rose to a sitting position with great difficulty. "Well, Dad," he said. Then he died.
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Old 05-05-2004, 02:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
paranoid
 
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Location: The Netherlands
uuhmm... I don't get it, is it me?
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Old 05-05-2004, 05:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
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what?
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Old 05-05-2004, 05:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
Beer Aficionado
 
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Location: Rancho Cucamonga, CA
I feel robbed...
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Old 05-05-2004, 06:48 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: ask your mom
ok, how was that worth it?
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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It's a joke that's funny for the person telling it. You get this huge build up and then no punchline. It's always worth telling people it to see the look on their faces after you've drawn it out for five minutes!
There's a story I know that you can drag out up to twenty minutes, about a guy who always hears this dripping sound coming from a monastery he walks past, but the head monk says he has to be a monk to find out what it is. Twenty minutes in, the guy becomes a monk and finds out what it is. You give it a good pause so the other person says "Well? What was it?" and you say "You have to be a monk to find out" and get a punch in the face for your troubles.
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
no one special
 
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Location: Charlotte, NC
ok I was very curious. Oh well maybe we should come up with ideas.



I think he stuck them up his butt.
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:22 AM   #8 (permalink)
Right Now
 
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That's five minutes of my life gone.

Wasted.

Poof.

Thanks, Mike. :/
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Old 05-06-2004, 04:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
If you've read this, PM me and say so
 
Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?
bastard
i wanted to know what happened to them!
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Old 05-06-2004, 04:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
Crazy
 
awwwww damn!!!!!!!
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Old 05-06-2004, 06:04 AM   #11 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Heard a varient of this one before, still good though!
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Old 05-06-2004, 07:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Michigan
Wow, I'm mad now.
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Old 05-06-2004, 09:33 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Sydney - Australia
Quote:
Originally posted by japhyryder
ok I was very curious. Oh well maybe we should come up with ideas.



I think he stuck them up his butt.
That'd be one enormous butt.
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Old 05-06-2004, 10:17 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote:
Originally posted by pigmann
Wow, I'm mad now.
http://www.ventanger.com
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Old 05-07-2004, 11:34 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: Southern California
OMG, that's the funniest thing i've read all night.
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Old 05-08-2004, 12:54 AM   #16 (permalink)
Insane
 
I know it supposed to be funny for the storyteller but if I told this to my friends...they would probably say..."that was stupid". Good story though, but I think it need a proper ending.
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Old 05-08-2004, 01:21 AM   #17 (permalink)
zomgomgomgomgomgomg
 
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Location: Fauxenix, Azerona
so many pingpong balls...so little anal capacity
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Old 05-08-2004, 01:35 PM   #18 (permalink)
Upright
 
groan
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Old 05-10-2004, 08:52 AM   #19 (permalink)
you can't see me
 
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Location: Illinois
I prefer to use this method for jokes with really, really lame puns as punchlines. That way it is just as painful for the listener, but there is actually a joke.
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Old 05-12-2004, 05:27 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: USA
Oh mannnn. That stinks.
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Old 05-13-2004, 07:49 AM   #21 (permalink)
Tilted
 
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Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Hahahah! A friend was telling this story to a group of us at lunch once, and one guy in our group decided to go to class late so he could hear the ending... he was really pissed at the end!
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Old 05-14-2004, 12:21 AM   #22 (permalink)
 
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Location: Canada
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet joke!

Kind of like where you go
A Hippopotamus and a Platypus are in a bathtub, and the hippo goes "No, Robot Duck!"
<-- or something like that, but equally nonsensical and stupid.

(get everyone except the target of the joke in on this, to laugh hysterically, and then watch the mark's reaction)

huh huh - yeah I uh get it.. yeah...
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Old 05-14-2004, 12:33 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Location: oregon
yea, I think his butt would be huge, thats what I thought when I first started reading it.
maybe he put them in the ground. Or ate them.
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Old 05-14-2004, 06:48 AM   #24 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Hahahahh. I liked it. I almost laughed out loud, too.
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Old 05-14-2004, 07:39 PM   #25 (permalink)
narcissist
 
Location: looking in a mirror
That was beautiful!

It's a lot like a few other jokes I've been known to tell, but their "greatness" can only truly be experienced in person, where I can drag out the story for a good 15-20 minutes (and then the listener can respond with a requisite ass beating).
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Old 05-16-2004, 06:46 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Location: Atlanta, GA
shit...I've been taken in by this one before, and when I started reading, I couldn't remember the punch line. No wonder.
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