Who do you lean on?

I lean on, and have leaned on for quite some time, the voices in my head. When I was younger, I went through some tough emotional stuff, and when I tried to go to my mother with them, she wasn't all that receptive. So I started talking to myself, created a whole staff of people I could rely on. It's definitely not healthy, and I'm very aware of it, but I've remained high functioning my entire life, so no one can really fuss about it, and no one really knows how deep it goes. Recently I've been doing a little better about talking to real people, but it's almost always superficial things. Whenever I'm in a real crisis, it's usually just me.

It's always amusing to me, because for all that I keep my issues to myself, I'm always encouraging others to talk to me about theirs. I'm always the one that people come to with their problems rather than the other way around.

 

Ouch. S.M.Paradox, that read as if I'd come in on an alt and typed it, but my "staff" is the invisible camera crew that follows me around taping my life, ala "reality show". Healthy schmealthy. If it works for you - rock on.

 

Hahaha! I mean, I wouldn't say it "works," per se...more like keeps me alive for the time being, but I suppose that's a form of working in itself.

I wish they could get a camera crew inside my head. It'd be a smash hit. People love tits and tragedy, right?

 

my mom.........myself, I do a tonne of positive thinking and positive mantras to avoid getting too upset, to try and change my mood/ day, sometimes its easier than other times, I strongly believe in the power of positive thinking and self help tools for whatever works for someone but I also think that music has really helped me, when Im driving to or from work its helped me feel better many many times. This past year Ive listened to the sopranos tv show theme song while driving to work often, it helped me when I really needed a boost. I used to tell my best friend everything but we dont talk much at all anymore, long story, I miss having that sometimes but I have found a lot of strength and comfort with the relationship I have with myself Im laughing at myself right now for saying that but its true (the sex is good too btw )

 

Music is definitely a big one. I used to live in my headphones. Literally could not go anywhere without a pair of headphones.

 

Since I don't trust anyone one descended from Neanderthals, I lean on my dog. He'll probably screw me too.

 

There is no one in my life that I feel close enough to to lean on.