Where does your confidence come from?

I'll let you know, when I get some. heh. I have confidence sometimes, sometimes an unhealthy dose of hubris too. Most of the time I just still float through life, not asserting myself when I actually know that I'm right, or the better person for the job. Don't know if this is because I'm not confident or I just don't think the conflict is worth it. I'm pretty sure it's the latter, most times.

 

It comes with old age, so yes experience.

 

Needed to hear this today. Thanks, sir.

 

Lately, I've had huge confidence boosts because of two things.

1. Having the respect, as an intern, of well-respected psychologists and psychiatrists. Having my judgement sought out, my diagnoses and treatment plans NOT questioned, and my advice heeded. I've given presentations to psychologists and students, stood in front of huge groups and shared my thoughts and expertise. With a positive response. It's huge in this field.

2. My weight loss, strength, and dedication to a healthier lifestyle. People are noticing and it reinforces my decision-making and my dedication. I'm a different person, inside and out. People are commenting, they're improving my confidence by noticing my efforts.

It's all essentially internal, but I've shifted my locus of control firmly internally for the first time in a very long time. I'm in control, my body is responding, as is my mind. It feels good, because I've had low self-esteem and poor confidence my entire life. While that's all well and good, the external reinforcement is invaluable.

 

Not having a clue?

In my younger years my confidence came from having no idea just how little I knew.
The funny part was I thought I was so world weary and wise.
My daughter told me about one of her professors who said went to high school with me.
I hadn't talked to him in 25 years.
He told her I was the most supportive straight guy a newly coming out gay kid could have ever had.
The thing was I had no idea what I was doing but I had the confidence to tell people how to do it and get out of the way if they didn't agree.
And I guess it made a difference in one persons life which is nice to know.

Now creeping up on middle age I've still got the confidence but I've had the edges shaved off.
I'm not ready to jump in so quick or make the snap judgments that I used to so it might appear that I'm a bit wishy-washy.
I'm still ready to pull the Cold Steel out of my pocket if needed but I'm ready to see both sides first.
And that gay kids who is coming out will always have me to back him up.

 

Stupidity.
- I'm not afraid.
- I accept your challenge.
- I won't quit until you make me.

 

Huh. I would have guessed cereal, skim milk, hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars and Crom.

I admit my strengths as well as my weaknesses. When something doesn't play to my strength, I tend not to play. But when I can do it, I try to knock it out of the park. That's been my business philosophy for 15 years.

 

In each of the last two elections, I got more than a hundred thousand votes.

With all those people so confident in me, willing to trust me with this responsibility, the least I can do is to be confident in myself.

 

It took me a while to figure this out but life is way to short to be tentative.

I am what I am, I'm about the best I can be at this point, time to roll those random encounter dice.

 

I've pondered this for a couple days.
It was June of 1960, when some Italian construction workers were finishing up the opposite side of our brand new Toronto duplex. On pleasant days my mom would put me out in front of the house in my pram to get fresh air. The workers caught my attention so I responded with the best sentence I could muster at 7 months of age: 'Hi, man!'
They were flabbergasted and for the remainder of their job there would visit me, cooing 'Oh bella bambina!'
That's it. I was fortunate to be a smart, pretty, charming kid early in life. Despite the many disasters brought on both by my own bad judgment and the whims of life's lottery, the foundation for confidence was set early.

Also, probably as important: I'm the first born kid.
Study: Firstborn Children Dream Bigger, Achieve More »