When it rains...

Wow, sounds like a total communication disconnect between the care facility staff etc.

Note, she probably became fond of the E-smokes because it made it easier to smoke while being in a non smoking facility. Just do your best to support her on that, if having lung cancer won't stop her there isn't much that will.

As far as mood swings go, maybe you can help her put her emotions elsewhere. Writing letters, blogging, quilting, scrapbooking, something. One of my coworkers dealt with cancer by using her scarves. Rather than buy scarves she would just pick up remnants of fabric and use them for head covers. As she was dealing with her treatments she would take those remnants and made a healing quilt for herself. I don't know if that would be her thing exactly but at least it may give you an idea. Obviously a craft is not going to physically heal someone but it may at least put her mind and emotions somewhere. Obviously both of you are dealing with a lot.

 

She's only used E-cigs at home, where she has no problem smoking easily a pack a day or more of analogs.

As for redirecting her mood swings... they only ever seem to happen when it's time for her to actually take care of herself or stop doing something self-destructive. At this point I'm convinced they're just her way of trying to get out of forcing herself to eat more than 80 grams of oatmeal a day, or anytime I do anything but cheerfully support her smoking herself AND go along with her lying to herself about how much she's smoking.