What does a first time mother need?

I lied. This thread is for me. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL I NEED!

 

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

 

Congrats ZombieSquirrel !

 

Wetwipes. Endless mountains of decently cleaning pleasant smelling wetwipes. If you decide to use pacifiers go for the ones that attach via short ribbon to the kid's clothes or carrier.

Also going the opposite direction: You'll probably get about six dump trucks worth of "Kils 99.99999999% of all living dna!" sterilization products like Lysol spray, clorox disinfecting wipes, and the like that you don't need. Save them for the toilet and raw meat/fish cleanup and stick to regular cleaning procedures for everything else. They've pretty soundly proven that a hyper-sterile environment puts kids in for a world of hurt when they get older.

 

You've gotten great suggestions for basically coping with baby management.

Keep in mind, though, that bonding well with your baby and building attachment through plenty of serene times for breastfeeding is highly important for your baby.

Connect yourself to good parenting resources and stay in touch. The Parenting Topic at the New York Times is exemplary.

A wonderful resource for dealing with such things as difficulties with breastfeeding, crying, baby sleep, attachment, parenting styles, and all the stages of parenting is "Parenting Science" (parentingscience dot com).

I hope you have close friends who are in your stage of parenting who can provide you support for the learning that never ends.

Most of all, trust yourself. Your intuitions can be your best resource. Your baby looks to you literally, but nonconsciously "like" a goddess all knowing, all loving, etc., and of course you're only yourself determined to do your best, fated to be sometimes terrified of doing the wrong thing. Babies are built by evolution to be resilient and adaptive. You are permitted by evolution to make lots of mistakes, as long as it's all embraced by consistent love over time.

A resource I love is the "Child Development Institute" (childdevelopmentinfo dot com) which developed an all-stage approach they call "smart love." They write:

​

Infants are absolutely certain that whatever happens to them is for the best, because their beloved parents have caused or intended whatever happens. Your brand-new baby believes both that she is engaging your love, and also that the care she receives is ideal. When these inborn convictions are confirmed day after day, your child grows up to possess a lasting inner happiness.​

The "9 Principles of Smart Love" are a good long-term guide: childdevelopmentinfo dot com/how-to-be-a-parent/parenting/smart_love/

Lastly, have fun! Changing diapers is an important time for baby to be with you. Show you love it all.

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Thank you ThomW! This was some great stuff!

 

Well played!

 

I wasn't ready to come out as a mother yet, but was freaking out about all the crap I needed.

 

Is it bad that I totally called it and then brushed it off?

I believe the exact thought process was "Man, this seems like it's for her. But that's probably ridiculous. I'm ridiculous."

SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS.

 

Butt paste.
Burp cloths.
Diapers.
Bathtub thermometer, so you don't boil the kid.
Grippe water or gas medicine.
Something to sleep in... For both of you.
And a blue bulb nose sucker.
Have fun.

 

Baby Daddy has ear problems so there are always ear plugs around.

Ha.... butt paste. We have that lying around too because baby daddy cycles a lot.

 

Not the same thing. Promise. You'll want Boudreaux's, NOT the cycling kind, lol.

 

Bag balm. Made for cows, but also good for nursing women. For reals.

 

Food. As in large batches of easily prepared food. For our first, we benefited greatly from the freezer full of premade food provided by breeder sympathizers.

 

The top of the list of must haves that you never hear people say - an organized house and life. The better organized you are the better you are able to cope with your lot in life when you have a sick/cranky/constipated/croupy/etc baby that hasn't stopped crying for 3 days... If you become more than a little OCD before baby is here - and have organized the bejesus out of your house and life - seriously - your world will be a much rosier place. Also, and I can't stress enough the importance of this.... Get them up the same time, put them down at the same time. Offer them food at the same time. Resist the urge to come to a screeching halt the second you hear them make a peep - you CAN train babies. They can eat and sleep on a schedule, but you have to be very very very consistent. They need to be in their bed, at home, at the same time every night. The more you mess with them and their schedule, the more chaos they will bring to your life. DON'T PANIC. No matter how loud they are screaming/crying, you CAN take the time to stop, take a deep breath, count to 5, THEN deal with them. Babies are a breeze - they don't become insanity causing until they are mobile, so enjoy them while they are bitty.

 

Great suggestions so far! You don't need nearly as much stuff as you think you would, especially through the first three months. We didn't have any sort of swing for the first month, then when we finally got one it was the best thing ever! Naps were so much easier, for everyone.

I loved the suggestion of getting all of the medical items you may not think to buy at first - it is really great to know you have baby Tylenol at 3am the first time you have to use it.

Also, the girls who gave my shower asked everyone to bring a funny or cute onesie, unwrapped, to the shower. They hung each onesie as part of the decorations, I picked my favorites and the winners got a prize.... And since my friends are awesome, I got a ton of onesies in various sizes. It was awesome!

 

Not a fan of most baby games, but this one actually sounds fun. My friends are very creative....and competitive.

 

Ditto. It worked out great for us! Seriously, so many onesies.

Another thing - the hospital sent us home with a Halo Sleepsack, which worked much better than anything else I tried to use for swaddling. S had a really strong startle reflex, and the sleep sack worked the best for us.