Virtues: what do you value?

i have been thinking of starting a thread, to discuss this phrase 'open mindedness' that is being wielded in a variety of arenas currently.
not sure what to title the thread though - "how to talk to folks that believe in lizard people - teh evil jews - red dust nibiru, etc?"

i am off topic.

okay, virtue.

argh what a word with such history. i'm hung up there. i'll get past it maybe.

 

A sense of humour.
An ability to see things from another's point of view (I suppose this is Empathy).
Curiosity and a willingness to learn new things.

I agree with Plan9, Honesty is crap. We all lie and usually for good reasons. I think what everyone really means here is Honesty when it matters (and I know that's hard to define but there you go).

 

Fangirl, this reply made me think of something that happened to me awhile back (and welcome back to one of your old posts!). Recently, my wife and I went by an estate sale. The lady running the estate sale is a little sketchy, to say the least, so you have to always keep an eye on her when she's adding things up. As my wife and I stood in a downstairs playroom sifting through a box of sheet music, the lady came up to us to make small talk. She asked if we played music, and we both answered affirmatively. From out of nowhere, she said, "Well, my son is the music director at Mississippi State University."

My wife and I kind of cut our eyes at each other, and I said, "Really? When was he there?"

She said, "He's been there for over 20 years, and loves it."

I confirmed that he was there in the late-1990's, and double-checked to make sure she had the right department. "Oh yes," she exclaimed, "he was head of the music department at Mississippi State University in Starkville."

When I asked his name, she told me.

I drew in a deep breath, and replied, "Well, Mississippi State doesn't really have a music department, because it's all music education, instead. I was a tenure-track assistant professor in the Department of Music Education at Mississippi State between 1997 and 2001, and I've never heard of your son. The two department heads during those years had different names." I turned to my wife and asked, "Do you remember him?" and she replied, "No, I don't. I've never heard that name." My wife also worked on MSU's campus in the library, which was across the street from my department.

There's no way in hell that lady EVER expected to tell that whopper of a lie to someone who was actually on the music faculty at Mississippi State.

After the LONGEST awkward pause, the lady stammered, "Well, I think he taught in the engineering department, but he had a lot to do with the music, I remember."

Why would somebody be compelled to tell a lie like that to someone they don't even know? A lie that will gain her absolutely nothing with us? How many people has she told that to before us?

That's a sick person right there.

 

I am only repeating what has already been said:

Honesty
Humility
Compassion
Empathy

 

Some more votes for honesty (which, IMO, does not mean never ever speaking anything but the bluntest fact-- honesty also acknowledges the feelings of others, and acts accordingly), compassion, empathy, humility, and humor. I don't know what to call it, but also the quality of tolerance paired with maybe a certain pragmatic cynicism. It's very elusive. But it's important, because while I value tolerance extremely, I find it is often accompanied by a kind of earnest naivete and self-righteousness that just irks the shit out of me. And yes, I am aware of the irony of valuing tolerance and yet being intolerant of certain qualities in others. I believe, however, that might be part of the human condition.

I don't know how else to say it, but I value honor. I believe in honor as a tangible, real quality-- one does not have to be either a Marine or a D&D nerd (or, God help us, both) to believe in honor and value it. But I think it exists, and is a complex quality involving elements of self-integrity, loyalty, courage, respect for others, truthfulness, compassion for the vulnerable, faith, altruism, and determination...and perhaps other things as well. Honor can be a quiet virtue: those who possess it are often not bigger than life (contrary to most of our hero stories), but it always shows in those who have it, and its absence in those who lack it is painfully acute.

I don't know if this is a virtue, properly speaking, but I confess I have a real soft spot for sass. Probably why I love teaching high school kids so much. I respect a certain instinctive distrust of authority, and willingness to instantly question what one is told, and I enjoy when this is done with zest and humor and wit. I also acknowledge that it might be possible that I like this quality because I myself have been known to display it from time to time....