"Vampire Men: sucking the fertile years from their girlfriends"

I can't believe I'm actually stepping into this part of this discussion.

Mixer, you're seemingly putting all women into two very standard groups in the very cliched madonna/whore motif. And I think you're smarter than that.

Aisle five at Wal-mart?

 

One of them lives on EUR 15,000 annual income and another is perfectly middle class. Yeah, let me tell you again just how awesome my rich friends are. Coincidentally, it's the guy with the least money who has the highest standards out of all of us.

No, and you'd realize just how ridiculous your insinuation is if you knew my SO and I. We're goofy retards. When it comes to personalities, they have to match... and there is not a single thing neither I or my mentioned friends expect from our partners that we don't bring to the table already.

But yeah, fuck equality.

If it wasn't 9 a.m., I'd drink to that.

 

I think it's K-mart w/ the blue light specials.

Both genders do it to each other equally. "Don't wanna get tied down." "My Career Comes First" etc. are oft-repeated phrases by both men and women. This makes me want to post that Marie Slaughter article, and start a new thread.

 

K-Mart had the blue lights, lady.

EDIT: Goddamnit, KirStang.

...

So, Remixer is talking about how wholesome everybody is in his group. How many girls have the guys fucked? How many guys have the girls fucked?

I gotta know. Especially since it has nothing to do with loyalty or family or whatever the issues is here. They want families, other couples don't.

 

Then I haven't articulated my point well. I didn't attempt to classify all women into those two groups, nor that all professional/academic young women belong in those groups. Hwoeever, a large enough number of young women participate in one these two groups to screw up the dating dynamics for the rest.

Nobody said there aren't extremely loyaly women out there who preferred to sort out their academic/professional achievements before thinking of marriage. As it happens, though, they also fall into the dating trap and have to deal with the non-committal guys.

 

So...

Loyal = chaste?

Loyalty has little to do with the dynamic in the serial monogamist circuit.

 

there's plenty of people who are twisted out there. it's not difficult to point them out when you hear their victims' stories or see it happening. on one side of the coin you have this guy that is either indifferent to his girlfriends plight and lets her think he'll come around or even worse enjoys the manipulation; on the other you have a woman poking holes in a condom or pretending to be on the pill alongside an unsuspecting guy she wants to have a kid with whether he does as well or not.

no one has a perfect bullshit detector and it's fine to allocate blame if you get bamboozled somehow, especially if that helps you with your own regrets, but in the meantime people should try not to judge or generalize too much and concentrate on what's in their hands to decide their fates. last but not least, they should be aware enough to see their life going by and accountable for steering that ship where they want it to go.

 

I get easily confused, as I'm not from the south.

I think too much weight is being placed on the idea of a standardized set of dating dynamics.

I'm in grad school at the moment, and I have multiple professional careers that I am pursuing. I don't drink, do drugs, smoke, intake caffeine, party, etc. And yet, when it comes to my fellow students, it's likely that I have more sexual experience than the rest of my peers combined. I'm 28 now and I haven't cheated on a partner since I was 16, and the only one of my exes that did have commitment issues ended up proposing to me. I don't want children, but I do want marriage, and that one special guy that'll be an absolute bastard in bed. Where does that fit into this "dating dynamics" spectrum?

This idea you're putting forth is limiting, not just your view of the world, but the people around you who conform to it out of a lack of ability to do anything else.

Mayhaps we should examine why there is this current "dating dynamic" in place.

 

Wow this thread has really exploded in to some kind of wild beast. As far as the notches go, people of either sex can sleep with as many people as they want. From my personal experience the best sex comes many months into doing it with the same person, I don’t understand the whole one night stand thing because that sex usually is not very good. The part about notches that scares me is the fact that with each one your chance for diseases go up, I would rather not catch anything.

 

This says what I wanted to say much more politely. I'm consistently amazed at how many 'Feminists' of either gender are content to slap 'porcelain doll' labels on women.

 

Yes, yes... don't get your white sundress dirty, now.

 

Aw, I missed you too.

 

If a relationship starts going long term, BOTH parties have the responsibility of clearly articulating their goals and expectations. If you are with someone who doens't want kids and you do, or vice versa then you have to either change your expectations and goals or realize that ultimately the relationship isn't going to last.

I don't think enough couples do this and that is partly why the divorce rate is what it is. It's difficult enough to deal with the unexpected in a relationship without the added burden of resentments that could have been avoided.

 

Well, one question... what's a long term relationship these days? 3 months? A year? 3 years? I know I'll get some generic answer about how it's all up to the specific couple themselves, but why is everybody here so goddamn timid about the marriage and kids talk in the age where 20-somethings can get head on a first date and everybody knows everything about their new partner by the time they get access to their FaceySpace Timeline page. These people are acting like 25 is the new 15. It's not that hard to talk to people, is it? Well, it shouldn't be if you're playing hide the sausage together.

I'm a serial monogamist. I like to fast forward to the comfortable part of the relationship. All the big talks were out of the way in my current relationship within 3 months. I knew full well all her problems, hang-ups and aspirations before I decided to commit to bigger things like moving in together and meeting her parents and sharing finances. I don't think finding Mr. or Ms. Right should require an awkward emotional chess game.

 

Plan9 - long term is officially classified as 13 months, 9 days and 12 hours. After that point there is no going back or you are referred to as a heart breaker, a home wrecker, a plan ruiner, a life ruiner, or just a plain old no good scumbag. Jesus man, didn't you know that?!?

Not having facebook is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I have some sort of privacy that most of the population does not have. I don't enjoy people peering in to every second of my life, and getting mad when they think something is being hid because I don't share it the second it happens.

 

In my view long term is lifelong. In the rich nations that usually means marriage, but I avoid the word because, at least here in the US, it is not always available to life partners in a commited relationship because they are homosexual. No less committed to one another, no less loving, just gay.

 

Anybody else notice that Martian's one smooth motherfucker?

 

*laughter tear*