Food Tipping ettiquette

As much as everyone hates grat being added to parties, I'll always add it if I have the choice. Yes, there's a possibility that I'll get tipped more without it, but I've been burned way too many times on people who think $10 is appropriate for a $200 check. After I tip out the bartenders and bussers 2%, that leaves me $6.

I mean, hey, if I suck, then no, you shouldn't have to tip me. But I totally bust my ass at work, especially for big parties.

 

I tip 20-40% at the bar, based on the tab, service, and any comped items.
I tip 20% for good service, 25% for great service, and 10-15% on crappy service.
I think the "wage" here is $2.75/hour. The service industry survives on tips,
so I never lowball the tip without a significant tip.
I even tip on most take-out... someone had to take the time to make my meal,
put it in containers and get it ready for me.
I don't do the bill splitting thing for that very reason--most people order more expensive
food than I do and few tip like I do. I'd rather be separate.

Only once have we negatively tipped. We got literally forgotten at a table at a nice restaurant, could see our nice, hot, gorgeous plates of thai food sitting there while our waiter went on a dinner break (we went up there and got them ourselves after 10 minutes and he never knew until we told him WE had to go get the food), he refused to get the manager for us and argued about the price of a bottle of wine that we'd ordered (he charged us $10 extra than what was on the menu and we clarified with the manager later). We deducted the 15% from the bill. So sorry, man. His manager was so pissed at him for refusing to get him earlier when we asked... it was almost comical. I've never even come close to an experience like that again. And it was a really nice restaurant, too. And we were one of his two tables he was responsible for at the time. We never went back for eat-in... just take out.

 

I spent nearly 6 years playing in a touring band and many more years as a week-end warrior. The bar and nightclub scene is a tough way to make a living. They endure some amazing bullshit on a daily basis. The majority of service workers I've known always more than earn their tips. Unless the service is really bad, I always tip a minimum of 20%. If it was a marginal experience, the service is always better (the next time) because they remember you!

 

When you go to the supermarket do you tip the cashier that serves you?

I am not taking the mick, I genuinely don't know... if you tip a takeaway place cos they pack your food, why wouldn't you tip the lad in the supermarket who puts your shopping in a bag?

If the waiter is getting paid a fair wage, my position is that a tip should be earned.

I would only tip automatically if the people are on the kind of crazy low wages mentioned above.

With regard to noodles comment that if you can afford to eat at a restaurant you can afford to pay an extra 30% tip... I just would say maybe not everyone is as financially comfortable. Sometimes if somebody doesnt want to tip, or not tip a huge figure like 30%, it's maybe because they are on a budget and they have a set amount they have set aside to have a nice meal with friends (and perhaps a group of friends who are more financially comfortable than they are) and they cant afford to tip like that.

someone else (not Noodle) mentioned fellow diners and the staff feeling contempt for somebody who doesnt leave a tip... and I just think from a service business that is a really disgusting attitude to have. If I had £20 in my pocket and my meal came to £19, so I let a £1 tip, and people were shaking their heads with scorn etc at me, it certainly wouldnt be a place I'd be giving my custom to ever again.

_

So yeah... just bare in mind with comments made like this, some people arent rich, and they still might like to have a nice meal out when their friends invite them (or feel embarrassed and unsociable if they say no) but putting in an extra $10 tip can make a REAL difference to someone's budgeting in that week. Sorry if I am coming over as passionate, but this is a situation I have been in throughout some of my financial problems in prior years (and do a degree still now)

_

Sorry, I have slandered Noodle. It is snowyowl who said that if you can afford to eat out you can afford to leave a big tip... well, maybe for people of her social situation this is how it is and thats great for her. It isnt so for all of us.

 

Harrrumpf!




No worries.

 

As SF says, the culture in the UK is totally different from the culture in the US.

In the UK, the minimum wage is enforced, and tips go on top. Many restaurants actually take tips from the waiting staff and enforce sharing for the whole outfit - many places put a service charge on the bill before it's brought to you.

Personally, if there's a service charge on the bill I always pay it, unless I've had very poor service, or food.

Where there's no service charge, I will tip if I had service (or food) above my expectations for that class of restaurant.

I find the whole logic of WHERE we tip is fascinating. Someone brings you a plate of food and you tip, but they bring you a pair of shoes and you don't? How does that work?

 

I have only had one experience ever that I didn't leave a tip. It was quite some time ago but the restaurant was positively dead, I never saw another patron at least in the area I was dining. I was seated with my family, a drink order was given and drinks received and the waitstaff never came back. We sat for a good 45 minutes and no one returned to take an order and there was visibly no one to alert on the matter. Not wanting to essentially steal our beverages and go we left a couple bucks on the table and a note written on a napkin and left. It was a weekday afternoon at an odd hour, I had never had such a bizarre experience before.

 

Indeed, such a different culture of tipping. When I first heard of the American concept of tipping, I simply could not get my head around it.

"Tips go on top" - definitely tips only if the waiter goes over and above expectation.

I did used to tip automatically ... 10%, but so many people I've been out to dinner with have strongly discouraged doing it at all, for much the same reasons as SF and Daniel. These days, if the service is extremely good, my 'tip' is the decision to go to the restaurant again and to recommend it to others.

SF ... any time I am in a restaurant, I straightway make it clear to the staff that I am to be billed separately for everything. I was sickened by the greedy pigs who took advantage of bill-share, especially when noticing that it was they who made the biggest and angriest fuss as my easy assertion that I'll pay my own way and nobody else's. Another thing I totally hated and revolted against, was when the self-styled 'alphas' tried to push what we 'all' should order, and 'how many rices does the table need'. Until, with the aid of some like-minded girl-friends, I developed the strength to only ever do MY own thing in a restaurant, meals out with groups just meant a ruined dinner-experience for me.

Stand calm and firm. If you've decided not to tip, and the others try to close ranks ... heck, it's not your problem.

That's just for when in England. IF I were getting food in America, then I would tip between 15 and 20%, and would not go to a restaurant otherwize. IMO, workers depending on tips is barbaric and primitive. Equally unacceptable to me is that a customer should have any form of pressure or guilt-sling to pay a penny more than what is plainly written on the menu outside the door. However, that IS the way it works over there, and I certainly would not let a server's livelihood be collateral damage to my principles. I'd tip according to guidelines given by my American friends, or I would not enter the restaurant.

In either country, though, if I were in a group, I'd politely retain sovereignty over my wallet, my individual bill, and my choice of tip, and practice being impervious to pressure from other diners.

 

I've generally never minded either method of bill splitting AS LONG AS EVERYONE AGREED UP FRONT! Although I do with embarrassment remember a time in a large Chinese place off Gerard Street in Soho where I was the most sober of a huge group and therefore was elected to calculate the split in the bill. I counted all the people with me at the table, added 10%, and then rounded up to the nearest note to tell everyone that their share was whatever (call it £25).

Everyone dumped their cash on the table, and wandered off, leaving me to settle the bill.

Imagine my surprise when the waiter brought me back a wodge of banknotes.

Turned out I'd forgotten to count myself, and had made a rounding error. I felt obliged to buy a large round of drinks when we got to the pub, but I still had a pocket of cash...

 

I mostly agree with Zen. While I accept in the US it is part of the cultural norm to tip, I dont really think its right.

I have visited the US, but have only ever eaten or gone to the pub with mates who were American so followed their lead. But I also think it is fundamentally wrong that there is this whole social pressure (supported by restaurants paying staff shit wages) where you are blackmailed into paying more than the advertised price.

The only time I can remember having an argument when was in the US was in the airport at Raleigh. I ordered a subway style sandwich and the guy added an extra amount to the price on the board called "tax"... I said to him "Are you having a laugh mate? Do you think cos I just got off the plane and I'm not from around here I'm going to pay the sales tax twice?" and he just looked at me like I was a prick. I cant remember if I ended up paying or not.

 

Yes, because I'm not going to screw over the people that server tips out. If the server is rude and all that, I'd leave 10% and speak to a manager.

 

I really couldn't care less about this situation.

By going out with friends and agreeing to split the bill, regardless of minor differences in the costs of individual meals, you are entering into a tacit agreement to, well, split the bill. Pretty straightforward.

By doing so you also are subordinating your individual ability to pay *exactly* the amount you want to the needs and average expenditure of the group. If they want to leave a tip and you don't... Too bad so sad; you should have worked that out in advance.

You claim you feel being 'forced' into tipping was wrong, but you could have taken a stand on the subject. If the group consisted of your friends then they should have honored your request. If they weren't your friends then you should never have entered into any contract (social or otherwise) with them.

 

This is obviously different in the US (and we've covered tipping quite a bit). Here in Oz, there is no real expectation of a tip. You can, but not tipping is not frowned on (our waiting staff make a proper minimum wage and don't need tips to survive like they do in the US).

On the original question - IF I was in that situation, I'd figure out what my portion of the original would be and then could add my tip (or not) and I'd state that. Funnily enough men never seem to carry a lot of change - I probably wouldn't be carrying the right money to split it fully anyway
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Sounds like a way to make a living - stay sober and fleece your friends