Things you should have to get your shit together

Embrace your inner muscular black dude superhero

 

I used to not need a workout shirt. I do now.

 

I don't know about that list... obviously many don't apply to guys. I do agree with a number of them as things you should do or have, but jeez... I wouldn't suggest that they are indicative of having your shit together.

Having your shit together, to me, has more to do with financial security, emotional stability and good deodorant.

(never let them see you sweat)

 

I'll bite.

Routine waxes - Not a chance. Safety razor, thanks.

A skincare regimen by which you swear - I shower every day (every other day if I was sedentary enough the previous day) and wash my face every night. Good enough for me.

A restaurant to which you can bring guests - I have a few. East Jesus Nowhere is a small town, but there's still plenty of local eateries - including those that serve fresh pasties.

A KitchenAid mixer - Don't cook enough to justify the cost for one. I do have a freshly seasoned cast iron skillet that I'm loving, though.

A signature scent - Old Spice, specifically Pure Sport. Body wash and deodorant.

A go-to house-warming gift - I haven't gotten settled in enough to even think about this.

A standard drink for when you’re out - I like my beers dark and hearty enough that they could likely sprout legs and walk away. Big, heavy stouts. Second to that is a nice red, like a Killian's. In a mixed drink environment, I'm a sucker for a well-made Old Fashioned, or a neat whiskey.

Something to make your house smell nice - Candles. Never enough. Not such a big fan of those spritzer-thingys that once spritzed me in the eye as a child.

Perfected daytime and nighttime makeup looks - Meh. I'm a bigger fan of the natural look, personally.

A great strapless bra - I unfortunately don't own one of these. Pity, as it's touted as life-changing.

A solid lingerie collection - Do boxers count?

A quality bag that fits everything (including a laptop) - I have a messenger bag made by ful that has lasted me a good long while so far. It goes just about everywhere with me. I prefer messenger bags; I feel awkward with a backpack now.

A set of pretty cards for thank you notes - Not really important to me at this stage of my life.

Nice workout clothes - The clothes I work out in are enough to keep me covered and to enable a full range of motion so I can do my exercises to the best of my ability. I could not care less what they look like as long as they do the job.

I'd hardly say that I 'have my shit together' seeing as though I'll be moving to a new city in a little over 2 months (holy shit, I'm graduating in 2 months, that's scary), so I'm mostly just in maintenance mode until I get to where I need to be and start a new life with my new career.
Then I'll worry about the superficial stuff like makeup and sports bras and cute workout clothes.

 

How about a job, housing, the ability to take care of your family and responsibilities, and to be mentally happy with yourself. Or failing those, having a goal and plan to be able to get to those points.
As far as materialism, I go through waves. I feel I'm too materialistic and always want something. Doesn't mean I will get it, but I want it. But a list of fifteen items is shit. What is important to you and your wellbeing? I mean my list would include a good off duty carry that you are proficient with and is comfortable enough for you to carry all day. How about a car that carries insurance and won't break down. Sure, knowing a good restaurant is nice, but so is being able to cook a good meal.

 

I wish we had one of those around here.

Some of the local supermarkets used to stock Upper Peninsula Brand pasties in the frozen food section. But not any more. I always look.

 

Yesssss. Sláinte!

***

I've been thinking about this article since I posted. I do have to concede that buying new workout clothes can be motivating...I've gotten excited to wear new running socks, for crying in the mud. Just that tone, though..."like, omg, you need cute workout clothes, 'cause you have to look adorbs when you get all sweaty!" rubbed me the wrong way.

One of the comments on the original article made me laugh: "So, it's 2014, and the measure of a good woman is how good she looks (and smells) when she bakes?"


I think it's also worth noting that, according to a lot of my family members, I'll never have my shit together, because I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I don't go to church. And I have friends who think I'm the most amazingly together person in the world, only because I project a calm attitude.

 

True story: I cannot wait until my new workout shoes arrive, but mostly because the ones I'm using now reek to high heaven.

And yes, I wash them.

Yes, this was totally the bad touch for me.

 

Some people go way overboard. I go to the gym to get sweaty and gross. When I see girls there in full makeup and perfectly done hair, I judge the shit out of them as I crank the treadmill up a few more incline points.

 

I'm adorable when I sweat and stink anyway, no matter what I'm wearing.

SMELL MY PHERMONES, BASIC BITCHES.

 

Bow down.

 

I've got that "drunk walk in unfamiliar environment" thing out of my system... I hope!

 

When I quoted you to my wife, she said she'd be happy if the bras that fit and the ones that didn't have holes in them were the same ones. It would seem that bra shopping is not one of her favorite pastimes.