The TFP Health Club

Maybe you should stop eating shit like cereal and Subway.

 

No breaks. I have plenty of off time with my lifting schedule so I go in relatively prime. It's not like I'm a total meathead or something.

Hey, when the friggin' vegan police have a higher Big 3 count than me, then they can talk all the shit they want.

 

Why would I want 3, let alone more than 3 testicles? Avoiding mutation is part of the reason I'm vegan. And I wouldn't nickname them either.

 

Just FYI, the Big 3 are Bench Press, Squat, Deadlift. And re: mutation? We're all fucked anyway. 3 testicles; none functional.

It's not like I'm eating Froot Loops or Lucky Charms and chowing down on a BLT with extra mayo and double "cheese," ya know.

I'm as healthy as minimal effort will get a guy. I'm not haunting farmer's markets or asking restaurant staff if this meal is paleo.

 

Last time I checked there were no superfoods at Subway. And Plan9 specifically described that he ordered "particle board" chicken. Obviously I wouldn't seriously besmirch his character by seriously implying he was eating shit.

But which 5 pounds of shit you choose out of a 10 pound bag of shit is still shit.

(and we don't need Big 3 counts when we have telekinesis)

 

I was fed by the United States military for several long years... I know all about putting undercover/camouflaged poop in my mouth.

"Listen, Private... you don't have the right to taste food. And you'll digest it when I say so. Your job is to swallow that shit, time: now!"

Honestly, my diet isn't that bad. What I'm eating is far from spectacular, but at least isn't it... you know... Doritos and McDonald's.

You tease clits with your mind. Don't even try to lie. I heard about you.

 

...I've just witnessed Dietary Thunderdome.

These guys are fuckin' serious.

 

W

Whoa dragon. It's like you don't know me. Remember, this is in the context of Plan9's "eating barrier," and not my own diet (which has worked well for me) I was merely suggesting that he step it up from Subway a little in order to add variety. Maybe a cleaner diet would increase his appetite. Your reading of my use of the term "superfoods" is way out to lunch. It doesn't have to be spirulina or goji berries. How about some dark greens, nuts, blueberries or some red peppers even? I eat at Subway when I have to, and while it fills me up for a bit, and doesn't necessarily do harm, is low in nutrients compared to what I can make at home. For someone putting serious time into the main lifts, like Plan9, eating at Subway is a clear bottleneck that should be looked at. It's weird that you're defending chain restaurant chicken. Et tu, Baraka??

I didn't know you were sleeping with Subway Jared, by the way. My "particle board" comment goes to the low quality of factory farmed meats, a system which I am pretty sure you have condemned in writing with even more fire than I ever have. Does Subway use whole chicken breast in their patties? Isn't it some breast blended up with pink slime? I don't know. While beans can be factory farmed, I am still not sure what you mean by "particle board" beans.

When I said shit, I didn't mean it was harmful. It's kind of like calling aerobics class a shitty exercise. It's better than nothing, but shouldn't we be aiming higher??

 

I don't know what you guys are talking about... but I do like it when you get angry and yell at each other.

Makes me wanna go lift weights. Makes me wish you guys were my lifting buddies. That'd be awesome.

 

Obviously by aerobics I meant this kind of shit:

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozoTzkCeO-A&feature=related


And I said aerobics CLASS. I didn't use "aerobic" in the scientific sense.

Finally (and I know he's RIGHT HERE, GUYS!), am I not in the right for putting it to Plan9 this way:

"Plan9, stop eating shit."

rather than this way?:

"Plan9, sunshine, we're all friends here so here's some nutrition tips! Try starting your day with a glass of room temperature water with a nice spritz of lemon in it. Then, to make sure your iron intake stays high, try to eat some whole grains and nuts for breakfast and wait at least 30 mins. to drink caffeine you silly goose!! Make sure you get some raw veggies in regularly over the course of the day. I like to cut up some carrot sticks at the beginning of the week so they're always there to stave off cravings. Chocolate sundaes... am I right ladies!???"

I am writing to my audience.

 

I do have feelings, arkana.

The reason why I've been at TFP since mid-2007 isn't actually because I like to hear myself talk, it's because I want to learn from you all.

If you're going to tell me to stop eating shit and not give me your reason why what I'm eating is shit, you're no better than I am in Tilted Politics.

I wasn't unaware of room temp lemon water and waiting 30 minutes for caffeine. I usually pound a nice cold Diet Coke when I first wake up.

My supplement regimen consists of a multi, joint supplement, fish oil and calcium. I also take a gainer powder to assist Mission: Undescrawnify.

Tonight I'll be eating some of that magical Barilla high protein spaghetti w/ sauce and a bag of steamed broccoli, naked. Probably shit too, huh?

 

Yes. It was the tapeworm thread where I did a little layout of all the food I ate at work.

Now that I'm actually at home where I can eat what I want, the situation has changed.

 

What you see as glossing over, I see as accessing a trope in the zeitgeist to get my point across. When I said aerobics class I was referring to what I thought most people think of. An example of which is in the video I posted. Of COURSE you can make it harder, but that is probably not the norm and not in the culture. Aerobics classes aren't even that popular anymore, having been replaced by spin, yoga, zumba... classes that serious lifters or amateur athletes are generally not so interested in aside from their use in recovery or as a supplement to their main activity.

People who want a serious workout don't go to aerobics class and make it harder to meet their needs. They go to a tough class of some sort... advanced yoga, kettlebells, kickboxing (those are only some that both you and I have experienced). People who are serious about their diet don't eat cereal and Subway on a regular basis. Plan9, you said it yourself... you put in minimal effort.

Besides... I was using "aerobics class" in an analogy. You taking me to task over it would be like if I used Nazis in an analogy and you said "well what kind of Nazis do you mean??? Because there were some good ones... you know like Oskar Schindler..."

So to recap:

1. Plan9's diet which he described as the result of "minimal effort" = what I playfully described as SHIT.
2. Aerobics classes (i.e. all the ones we've ever seen on TV and our moms went to when we were kids) = SHIT.
3. SHIT (as I use it) = not harmful, but let's not pretend we are a part of/have access to a community that puts fucking RAW DARK GREEN VEGETABLES IN OUR SMOOTHIES.
4. Don't forget I love you both.

 

arkana,

I'm glad you're back and posting on here.

And I'm glad you're as serious as I am.

 

Hey, kids...

Question: Do you guys wash your workout clothes in anything special?

*sniff* *sniff-sniff* Ugh, that's gotta be me.

UnderArmour and Climacool and NikePro have a tendency to develop a permafunk after a while and I was wondering what method y'all use to tame the beast. I always thought it was just the price of the dries-right-quick material since I ran into a similar smell wearing the synthetic sand-color ACU t-shirts in the army. The old brown cotton t-shirts I wore in BDUs/DCUs? No problem. Switched to the tan synths in the couch camo uniform? Stink.

The smell isn't straight up body funk... it's more like... old bacon and plastic.

I find it hard to believe that regular detergent isn't up to the challenge of removing sweat and skin oils from my high tech moisture-wicking workout clothes. Some people recommend adding baking soda. Some recommend white vinegar. Some say you can boil them for a couple minutes ("What's for dinner?" "T-shirts!"). Some recommend buying special mega-enzyme detergent. I'm not super concerned but I am interested in y'all's thoughts.

Smell or not, I'm not going to wear cotton while I work out. It's horrible.

I've noticed the funk with UnderArmour tech T-shirts (my favorite) regardless of whether I wear them at the gym or just lounge around in 'em.

Stories? Ideas? Comments?