The Official "Ask Plan9" Thread

What's the fastest way to sell of a house full of furniture?

 

If my basement is running out of room to bury the bod....er.........."garden supplies", where should I be storing them next?

 

On a related note, how much sulfuric acid would you need to dissolve a body and how long will it take?

Just a hypothetical question, mind you.....

 

Where do you go?

 

If he answers that with full disclosure, he would have to hunt each and every one of us down and, at the least, perform a lobotomy. Many would notice no changes.

 

I keep a pack of hungry boars trained to eat human flesh from birth for the particularly pesty.......that is....I would consider such an option in a strictly hypothetical situation like that.
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This procedure might actually increase the intelligence of some of the politicians in office.

 

Ahem.

 

He did qualify that statement with "some".

 

I lost my notes from that human sexuality class, but I think it's related to "Because labia -> lipstick."

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How about a folding, inflatable solar-powered floating LED camp light? So practical for lightweight camping.

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I do. But only because I want to know what love is; I want you to show me.

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I feel like its a Baskin-Robbins situation: all the flavor variations have been tried. What you need, my friend, is a novel container for your product.

I want beer to come in a ceramic growler shaped like a gourd. You know, something I can heft with one hand on my thumb like how the hillbillies drink out of their moonshine jugs.

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To work your whole life chasing the almighty dollar, outlive your meager retirement and plunge into poverty and despair only to put yourself down with a bottle of bourbon and a pistol shot to the head.

No, wait... that's how things are, not how they should be.

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Take high quality photos, use Craigslist. Accept that you'll take a loss but enjoy the convenience of the buyers coming by to take away your problems.

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Do you have access to a chipper-shredder and a swamp? Key to success is taking your time to disperse the remains in random locations. Several never-been-there-before sites over several months. If you do a mass dump, you're gonna get caught.

Important: Hide identifiable parts like skulls, teeth, etc. You'll have to destroy these to separately.

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Enough to submerge the body, obviously. Resizing your project via quartering means you can use a 55 gallon drum. You would probably want to do multiple baths if the following article is to be believed:

Relevant

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Are you singing to me, Ralphie?



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God, please don't build me up here. Seriously. You've seen me in person... I'm kinda like @The_Jazz, but significantly less Michael-Madsen-at-his-sweatiest.

 

No. Traditional (biological) sex roles are a large part of my identity (despite the fact that I'm never having children) and taking on a typically female-only task would be weird.

I also wonder what potential health issues would arise from being a dude that lactates. Something zany to research, no doubt.

If I was a woman I'd likely be one of those standing-birth hippie chicks. I was once married to one.

 

For the record, men are physically able to lactate, if provided the right stimuli.

 

Why are some people so ignorant?

 

Hi Plan9! Nice avatar, my favourite yet. I don't suppose you make house calls for your RDA?

 

Pfft. I was referring to the reproductive science portrayed in Junior, but since you went all serious on me: No.

You keep your tits, I'll keep my [shitty] beard.

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[in reference to the modified food pyramid with 'PUSSY' listed at the base]

I do. PM inbound.

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I aim to please. In fact, my spirit animal is the "ridiculously accommodating Labrador retriever."

That show is pretty rad except when the tall, leggy, properly-dressed-and-make-up'd supermodel female lead pretends to be socially awkward.

 

Boxers or briefs?

 

Oh, I will.

 

So, if I provide the proper stimulus, I can actually generate enough milk for my morning cup of tea?

 

Mmm, good question.

I typically wear all-purpose military-issue underwear / running shorts / swim trunks. They're shorts with a liner, so they're like briefs with boxers over them.

As far as comfort goes, UnderArmour's boxer briefs are about as high tech as it gets with quick-drying fabric and mesh over your junk so it can breathe. If you're a runner, it's like a short ram intake for your nuts.

I am interested in trying MeUndies, though.

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Hey. Hey. Calm your tits.