The Complaining and Bitching Thread

Ugh.

 

Woke up on my day off to Max frantically calling for me through the bedroom door, like he usually does... but a little more urgent.
Opened the door and was hit by the overwhelming and pungent smell of shit.
Two giant Bengal-sized piles of runny, green shit in my kitchen and the cat room. To go along with my antibiotic headache and metallic taste in my mouth.
Cleaned up the shit, cleaned up piles of puke from around the kitchen as well.
Scrubbed litter box with bleach... came back upstairs for the bag of dirty litter to find that someone had pissed on top of it.
After someone pissed in the bedroom last night in the hamper, which has holes in it, so... by default, on the carpet, too.
Bissel-ed the carpets with the pet cleaner stuff, doused everything in Nature's Miracle, and am now giving all the cats the hairy eyeball until I figure out whodunnit.
I'm sure the shit isn't the Old Man. He was the first to christen the clean box, but I think he's The Pisser.
I'm suspicious of Faust as he's been hiding a lot since Sunday. I know that the animal who did it is ill, so I can't be too mad, but fuck.
I feel like shit... now I'm wondering if cat-in-question caught something from me.
I have an appointment with the Boreland-Groover Clinic this afternoon to try to figure it out.
Happy day off to me.

 

My back hurts. I think I slept all funny last night

 

Eeeeeee!!

 

Again - no pants. Am I still invited to get in line?

 

Yes, but I'll be wearing two pairs of pants.

 

In all seriousness, I feel your pain. I hate pinkeye.

On a lighter note, I just watched an episode of South Park where the boy's Halloween trick or treating was interrupted by an outbreak of pinkeye, which as it turned out was really a zombie outbreak that started at the morgue, which in turn was caused by the mortician using Worcestershire Sauce as embalming fluid.

You don't have a craving for brains, do you?

 

I forgot to bring a lunch today. Boooo.

 

I'll see if I can borrow the TARDIS and grab you some lunch. What type and era of food would you like? I just have to stay away from the 1603 date in England after that last "incident" when the TFPDOM held that one meeting there.

edit: missing word

 

When my professor emails me with "I have a present for you on your bench", I need to stop being surprised when it's just vials of his blood to make petri dishes.

Science?

 

SCIENCE!

 

I should start acting all Angelina and wear one around my neck. Maybe he'll get so creeped out he'll let me graduate early.

 

Garlic and my sweat glands do not a happy pair make.

For fuck's sake...

/TMI poetry

 

TFPDOM!