The Ask a Swinger Anything Thread

@ralphie250, you thinking about taking the plunge?

 

contemplated it before, but I'm sure the wife wouldn't go for it. never asked. just like to fantasize

 

Sometimes they surprise you.

 

I've never asked, but i know she's not real real real comfortable in her sexuality, even after 15 years of marriage.
may i ask how you approached your wife About it our how she did you?

 

Long story short, I asked her if under ideal conditions if she would like a threesome (ideal meaning no one finds out, etc). Once she said yes to this I asked her why not try it? We also had a great video at the time based around swinging and fantasies which helped.

Dinner Party Adult DVD

 

This is my situation - we've had a couple experiences, but only with total strangers and out of town, and that is the way wife wants to keep it. So the swinger sites that allow you to find partners in our own town won't work for us. The one time we had a foursome (last year) was in France and she was really into it...but now she kind of characterizes this as my thing. I sense that she is one who'd really dig it, but maybe that is my imagination. We won't know unless we find ourselves at a party at some point. We've been to Denver and were all ready to go to Scarlet Ranch, but the party that night turned out to be sold out! There is another place in Seattle which we may try at some point. San Francisco has a couple of good clubs. I'd be game to find someone in our town, but not sure how without her being more enthusiastic about that. By the way, another great movie is An Open Invitation - we bought it, we liked it so much.

 

There are some resorts which could work out for you too.

Desire in Mexico.
Sea Mountain Inn.

And of course Hedo (go during a swinger site takeover)
And there are also the Couples Cruises.

There are more places, but those are the first to come to mind. You can find a lot of them if you are on a site being they advertize there.

 

Been to Sea Mountain and we're planning another visit for January!

 

Not sure if this was asked but how did you manage to start swinging and continue it ? Have you ever talked any of your wife's friends into it ?

 

I answered how we got started a few posts above somewhere. Continuing is easy, we both have a good time, we are partners in crime so to speak.

Talking friends into it... bad mojo normally. There is a old saying in swinging, make swingers into friends not friends into swingers. We've never tried but we've seen it tried. Bad... bad bad outcome.

 

any new happenings? ive ahd a few dreams lately,

 

Nope, too much going on with life right now.

 

My wife and I recently got into the lifestyle.the earlier post about demystifing sex was spot on. We started as a way to enhance our already incredible sexlife. For both of bus it is about seeing the other having a good time. I follow her lead. She picks the couple. She is bi so I know she is going to have a great time. Really I could just stand by and watch her fuck another couple. I have also learned a few new techniques recently. If I pay attention to how she is reacting with another man I can do what he was to her in our own bedroom.

 

i have watched the tv show swingers on playboy tv, wondering how accurate it is??

 

So where do you meet other swingers besides clubs?
How do you find out about meet and greets? Clubs seem intimidating to start off with, and I don't want to be part of any shady establishments. How do you know a club is good? I guess I am trying to figure out how to get started. Should we start off far away from home? It would be nice to meet people first, have a trusting relationship and then jump in.

 

The swingers on the show ARE real, they are constantly asking for couples, and we know some who were on it. The situations I can't say are real but I've never watched the show. Odds are though that things are done more for the camera then how things really work in swinging.

Most swinging would be more flirty, to R rated dancing socializing, and then sex. Pretty much boring until the money shot.
--- merged: Feb 12, 2015 3:21 PM ---

M&G's might come from a private message or be advertized on a site. Lots of groups have parties and then M&G's which you can find simply by looking at what amounts to an add.

Clubs ARE intimidating, until you go. We avoided them for about 5 years out of fear of them, and then when I was really pissed off at a couple that blew us off I said "fuck it, we are going to a club" and it was... rather tame. Sure there is sex going on and boobs and naked people, BUT its as tame as you want it and its been our experience at all the clubs. There might be some really bad for freaky ones but they won't stick around long.

A good club is easy, its filled with people YOU want to fuck and who want to fuck YOU. The rest is just icing on the cake.

There is no "right" way to do this, we started meeting couples 2-2 and then moved on from them. That can be tedious. Clubs are good but if you are not social it can be hard to get started there.

 

How long have the two of you been enjoying the lifestyle?

Have you had any problems with men and your wife? Meaning the men's behavior with her.

 

then what is the best way to be social??

 

ralphie250, you have to be outgoing. If you go and don't try and talk to someone or interact, you will most likely be disappointed.