TFP Pity Party! Everyone's Invited

"I'm self-pitying,
but I'll never cry victim,
because I'm not one."

-quoting myself.

 

A few months ago I signed up to ride 100 miles in an event yesterday. Stupidly I didn't train for it and wimped out after 70. Pretty much everyone else there was riding on carbon or titanium, which (in addition to training and preparation) is obviously what I'm going to need if I want to finish a century in eight hours. Wah wah wah.

Oh, and my lady gives shitty backrubs.

 

This, too.

 

I seem to have reinjured a sprain in the ankle which I thought had got better. I don't know how I did this, because I did not do 'anything silly'.

Bleat.

 

We had significant ice damming issues over the winter in our condo. The management folks swore that they had found the problems and fixed them. We replaced our kitchen floors (had been wood, now sheet vinyl) three weeks ago. Over the weekend, sure enough, more rain in the same damn spot. We can see it in the unfinished basement below the kitchen. I hope the floor turns out OK.

 

Car's falling apart, new job is stressful, and the ex husband is allowing his psychotic, "I'll kidnap your child and take him to Mexico" mother back around the kids as a way to 'get back at me' for marrying someone new. Not to mention that he's behind in child support, a total Disneyland dad, no rules, gives the kids what they want whenever they whine or cry for it, and that whenever I buy new clothes/underwear/fillintheblank for the kids, they somehow never make it back to my place.

 

our air conditioner is still out. don't if/when they will get around to fixing it today.

 

I felt compelled to pull an Al Franken on the way to work this morning, & sing it to comrades when I got there:

I miss my sunshine, my blue-eyed sunshine. He made me happy when skies were gray. He'll never know now, how I might love him, since you chased my sunshine away.

My lead said we should record it, but the rest of the day was unsettling, because the chaser stopped talking.

 

I cant talk about it

 

Car's still broken, and Dad just came and towed it off- so my brother, who, at last interaction, told me I'm an awful mom, an awful person, that I'm on drugs or should be, and accused me of cheating on my ex husband for months can fix it.

I should have held my ground and not allowed it. When will I grow more of a spine???

 

Ok, I'm sorry if this is gruesome for some to read,

So I was going to the bathroom, and since we live in a tiny one bedroom place it's pretty obvious when you are going to the bathroom and it smells. Sometimes it smells up the whole apartment. So, I decide to light a match to clear the smell. No problem, right? WRONG. The match head breaks off at the point of ignition and rockets downward onto my dick. Burned a nice big spot on my dick before I could flick it off into the toilet. The screams must have really frightened the neighbours. In any case, I've had a band-aid on my dick for almost a week and it still isn't healed. This is officially the longest stretch of not masturbating since I learned what masturbating was. Pity me.

 

My left lower eyelid has been twitching for four straight days, and it's driving me batty.

 

I take it you're single?

...try explaining that to a girl on after a successful date. "No, baby... it isn't wang warts. I just put a match out on my dick in the bathroom. Swear!"

 

Nope, been in a relationship for ~5 years and change. I just masturbate a lot... Like once a day without fail. She used to say, "Just come to me whenever you want to get off." After me bugging her like two-three times a day while she was trying to do homework she gave up and said, "Fuck it, just go masturbate." Win!

 

Did a short 1 mile run yesterday, and I can feel the fringes of plantar fascilitis bothering my heel. Fuckin A. I'm not built for this.

Waiting for my new pair of running shoes to come in the mail so I can tear myself a new one.

 

Okay, 5 years, wow... and how exactly did you explain the Sponge Bob band-aid on your cock to your woman? I don't wanna threadjack this too much but your match story is solid gold awesome. And while I'm all for masturbating, I've found that if I can coax the old lady into a early-morning-my-testosterone-is-surgin'-like-a-beast blowjob, it helps me get focused for the day. Offer to get her coffee for her. 60% of the time it works every time.

 

I told her the truth? We laughed.

 

I pity the Plan9. I told him I'd do him anytime.