TFP Confessional

I am seriously considering leaving grad school. I've toyed with the idea before, but I hate the idea of being labeled a quitter. This is becoming way too soul crushing, though. I can't handle the passive aggressive comments. The insinuating that I'm worthless. I know I'm capable in the lab. I know I'm not weak. I'm letting him doubt my self worth and bring me down, and that's not ok.

 

It was always the ritual for me too.

 

Consider why you're leaving. You're not leaving grad school, you're leaving because of one person. One person that you will leave behind once you are done with grad school. This decision could very well shape your life GeneticShift. You've invested a lot to get where you are, don't forget that. You shouldn't have to deal with this crap, especially at this level but unfortunately it does happen. And you will most likely encounter it again. Sometimes making decisions to avoid a negative can result in worse consequences. Please consider all of your options carefully. Be strong.

 

I work at a university and I feel the same way. After I get my MBA, (Cheap tuition is the only reason I'm sticking around) I hope to NEVER work with academics again. It's stupid since I toy with the idea of getting my PhD in Marketing after I've been in the field for awhile. I've noticed that business academics are WAY different than science ones though.

 

Thanks for the feedback.

Craven Morehead - I totally understand where you're coming from. I understand and accept the fact that I will more than likely be working with many assholes in my career. That I'm fine with. I'm stressing out about and hating the fact that the person being an asshole to me is my thesis advisor. You know, the person that is supposed to help and support me as a student through my project? I don't want someone to hold my hand and guide me though with baby steps, but I want someone that I'm at least comfortable coming to with questions that isn't going to berate me at every meeting. Assholes I can deal with, I can't deal with a direct mentor asshole.

ZombieSquirrel - My goal is to never ever work in academics. I hate the bureaucracy and the dependence on grants and the egos. It's so much worse in academics than it is everywhere else, and pure sciences seem to be especially bad due to the high competition for actual supportive grants. Good luck finishing up!

It also doesn't help that our lab tech is moving on Friday. She's the only one I feel comfortable with discussing my concerns and questions about my experiments, and she's leaving for Mississippi on Friday. I have been moments away from tears all day.

 

How much longer do you have to complete the current stage your in?

 

*Technically*, it should be over in May. But, my advisor decides when I get to graduate based on how he feels I've completed my project/paper. Once I pay for 30 credits I don't have to pay anymore, but I keep attending until I graduate. So he can hold me in the lab as long as he wants to after May until he decides I've done enough.

tl;dr - I'm here until he decides I can leave.

 

I think it has a lot to do with ritual.
I wasn't even digging the high--it was too druggy. I liked best that first moment of inhalation and exhale--psychological relaxation, before I got high. Over time tho it owned me. Like peanut butter, I couldn't keep it in the house without consuming it all. Addictive behaviour, absolutely. I think maybe, someday, in a social situation I could toke up. It couldn't be in my home and I could NOT buy it and bring it home. At some point I crossed the line into psychological addiction. Right now, when I think of getting high as opposed to the ritual, I have a negative 'do not want' response.

 

I have another confession- I've stayed out of this thread:
What's stuck in your head today? | The TFP

Why? Because I've been resisting the urge to post this smartass reply: A SPEAR!

 

I am going downtown tonight to take photos of the peoples on the streets. Before that I will be making a stop-off to visit a good friend where I will do things that are unbecoming of a lady and possibly still illegal in some states. After the photo adventure I might (maybe) be stopping off to see a second friend...I haven't made up my mind. Do I have that in me?

Yes, actually. I think I do.

(To be honest, I have done something similar before...just not planned-like. Planning it feels more intrepid.)

 

I have a confession to make to the TFP...
I am a 27 year old straight, single Australian male, and I enjoy sitting down at lunchtime whenever I have the chance to watch the Ellen DeGeneres show on tv. Only one day after it's live.
What can I say? She's funny.
"Be kind to one another"

 

Ellen DeGeneres is the shit.

 

Not only am I a shitty liar (which is probably a good thing), I am also terrible at keeping surprises.

Rats!

 

I've shaped myself into an adrenaline junky as a way of pulling myself out of timidness and it makes me explosively argumentative at times.

She called me "quasi-intelligent" and I totally went to myself: "Hey, that's good enough."

I often have no idea where the fuck to put commas and usually fake it.

I don't know what day it is when I'm on vacation.

 

Forgive me, TFP, for I have tweeted. I finally broke down and signed up on Twitter, even though hashtags confuse and anger me. I don't understand when a pound-sign became a hashtag, and I'm still a little foggy as to how they are actually supposed to be used/abused. And yet, I took a gamble and used my first hashtag, mere moments ago.
I am sorely ashamed.

 

It's OK AlterMoose. I'm sure #TFP will #forgive you. You did stick to #140characters, right?

 

Forgive me TFP for I have sinned. It has been many, many years since my last confession... Here I go. I ate too much candy last night. For this I am heartily sorry, and beg forgiveness.

I'm going to do it again this afternoon, for I am weak. <hashtag> boring life </hashtag> ( did I do it right? )

 

I must admit. I don't really understand how the hashtag is used in social media myself

 

I gotta confess: this forum needs more Fugly.