Should you still say, "Please," "Excuse me," and "Thank you"?

Hah. I am so sorry.

Usually I take very brief looks at people's avatars and usernames next to their comments to identify them. When I saw that skull and and the "9" at the end of your name, I assumed you were Plan9.

My bad. Cheers for telling me about your wife, though.

 

It's like you don't know me anymore. My horrible middle class writing style with my constant, purposeful misuse of the ellipsis. My colorful imagery with descriptors that nearly always sound like something from a horror movie script. I thought we were friends. Turns out I'm just another number.

 

Number 9, exactly.

I'll buy you a drink and a dildo to make up for it.

Seriously though Plan9... I was wondering what was up with your sudden turn into sombre writing. But then I figured it was one of your very few moments of being serious on here, as I witnessed it before.

 

I honestly had not concidered the Madam thing, but it makes perfect sense

Gonna switch to Toots or Sugar Tits per Gibson

 

'Sugar Tits' just cracks me up. No way could I ever be offended by that.

 

I find it funny because it assumes you'll do it. My stepmother took that a step further. She'd say "Pass the the bread, thank you. There's a good boy!"

How could you refuse when you've not only been thanked, but complimented!

 

Thank you and please are respectful. I use it without even thinking, but I do notice when others do not use it. Respect...

 

It really is of no surprise that so many here are respectful IRL

Or are masterful liars on the internet

 

Actually, most of the words used to describe my dummy-retardedness over the last couple of years have started with G. Garrulous, glib, gauche, etc.

 

Manner cost nothing ! I also think they reflect on your upbringing.

 

Definitely! They cost nothing.

 

Possibly amend reflect your upbringing to how you wish to be seen - I have had similar conversations on swearing and it being used to change how people are seen. ie Gordon Ramsey, does not need to swear he almost uses it a punctuation for his frustration / anger, but it does not necessarily make it right !

 

Manners can be taken to ridiculous extremes, though. My mother tells the story of the time when she was seven or eight and her parents and sister were visiting "Granny's house". She saw a plate of cookies in the kitchen and asked granny if she could have one. Her father (my grandfather) got very upset and sent her to the other room to sit on the couch by herself for the rest of the afternoon. His reason: You don't ask for things when visiting someone else's house. You wait for them to offer. If they don't offer, you do without. Granny got pissed and scolded him for his harsh punishment and brought her two cookies. On the drive home he explained that even though granny gave her the cookies he expected her to remember the lesson and not repeat her rudeness. My mom said she never did that again and, as an adult, thinks the punishment was harsh, but the lesson a good one. That's what I was raised with.
Oddly, when my friends would come over to visit in high school, I was shocked by their habit of walking in the door and heading straight to the refrigerator to see what we had to eat. Of course, my ingrained politeness prevented me from ever calling them on it. And, somehow, it never bothered my mother when they did that either.

As for please, excuse me, and thank you, I don't think I could stop myself if I tried.

 

Wow. I can't even fathom going into someone's fridge without a prior invitation.

And, yes, I agree with you that you should not ask for food (treats) when you are visiting. You should wait to be offered. And even then, you should consider saying, No. Just to be polite. If they ask again, then you can say, Yes. Just to be polite.

 

Ha! Canthook, your friends sound like me when I was younger. I would regularly go to either of my high school best friends, walk in without knocking and extract whatever provisions I required. Looking back I'm somewhat mortified. I was always polite, but I just didn't have a sense of personal boundaries in regards to the housing structures with my close friends, especially in regards to their parents. As I recall, they would do the same at my house. I guess we just took the mantra of "mi casa es su casa" at face value. And it never seemed to bother any of our parents.

 

I agree with the thinking behind it. However, in my thinking a direct family member should be able to ask for any food that's in the house of another, without it being impolite/inappropriate.

And just like Charlatan, I have huge issues with going into the stuff of someone else without first being told/asked to do so. For example, today I was at a meeting with a government official and was enjoying a smoke in his office (knowing he smokes too and after asking) but couldn't find an ashtray (you'd assume it would be easy to find...). My employee went ahead and rummaged through the official's desk to look for it. Told him to stop and almost kicked him out to go back to the office. I settled for a temporary ashtray made out of paper until he came in and brought the ashtray.

I'm also the kid who never followed the "make yourself at home and take anything you want without asking" directive by my friends' mothers. Couldn't make myself not ask for permission.
--- merged: Feb 23, 2012 3:31 PM ---

That... is so Afghan.