Sex times

The caressing works for her, but it has to be early, esp on a weeknight. Last night it wasn't early.

 

Hawt. Do you find that the whole don't-care-how-long-it-takes sex happens more in a long-term relationship? Or do you think it happens less because sex becomes more routine and familiar?

 

Male perspective, over 27 years married, 29 years mongamous.

No.
Yes.

 

You and I are more similar in this than I thought. Over 23 years married, 28 years monogamous.

 

You know how to spell monogamous, and I don't .

Sometimes I count my blessings, other times I question them.

 

21 years together

No, Yes.

My wife and I were monogamous the first 9 years together and spent a LOT of that time figuring each other out which I think leads to just more sex, more ways, more often. Once we figured each other out though frequency and duration decreased. Part of our lifestyle that is very good is it allowed us to continue to explore aspects we couldn't with just the two of us, like her bisexuality which she had a hard time coming to grips with. We will often go for months, without swinging though and we quickly head back into predictable married sex. When we are actively swinging, our home sex life shoots up too.

 

Honest to God, I did not notice that until you pointed it out.

No kidding.

 

At this point I would just be glad to have sex...

 

I remain hopeful about that. It could happen sometime this spring!

 

Just to give a fair picture of my marriage, it has not always been happy fun sexy swinger threesome times, with sex five days a week, etc. My wife has had "low libdio" issues, but one thing we have always been is very open to communication and when it started to suck I told her it did. That didn't solve the issue but she at least was willing to admit it was an issue and we have worked on it. I read this book about a year ago but it couldn't really help me being I sort of figured it out on my own by then but I wish I had read it a few years prior.

Another issue to do is have her hormones checked. We got a full blood work up, which actually came back normal, but I felt was low for her thyroid. Shes taking thyroid medication now and that seems to be helping quite a bit too.

 

Yes, I bought that same book. It was extremely depressing. I don't even remember now what it recommended.

 

What did you find depressing about it?

 

I'll see if I can find it, and respond to this.

 

Well, I haven't found it, but as I recall, the gist of it was: What a woman wants is somebody other than me.

 

Mmm that wasn't the message I got from it. It was basically self improvement along with a escalating method to get sex back into a relationship. A few of his theories, I had some issue with but over all it seemed pretty solid.

 

I found that having a child made the biggest difference, especially as my daughter was a little older and sleeping less. Available opportunities shrank. Much more planning was required, and the luxury of hours in bed were replaced by more of the commando approach: get in, get the job done, no one gets left behind,

Bit of an exaggeration, but the realities of everyday life frequently force you to change your patterns. And being a parent requires you to give up notions of personal time to some degree,

 

That is the greatest story ever told. They should film it and show it every Christmas.