same ol same ol. maybe NSFW

Hi, this is my first post. Here's my 2 cents on the subject. I've been married for 11 years now and have discovered several ways to have keep things fresh. One is to plan ahead of time. This gives the wife unit more time to think about the event. Secondly, a deep tissue massage starting from the toes and working all the way up to her face. I've never met a woman who doesn't like a good massage. Thirdly, what we like to do is make one of us in charge of the evening. Dinner, movie, alone time, whatever. Then you really get to see what's inside their head. Also, Spencer Gifts in your local mall has a section of adult games for couples that are sexual without getting too dirty.

 

My former SO and I have been talking lately and it looks like we'll be dropping the former part. She's a closeted nympho and I will be the lucky recipient. The women I've been with during or ten year separation were various degrees of boring sexually, some,even from the start. So I'm looking forward to the new possibilities with my old girlfriend. And even though there are things I won't try, I am quite the freaky bastard. So lemme try to help:

1. Have fun
ex. Valentine's Day approaches, go to the grocery store, drug store, walmart, whatever. They all have seasonal sections, in the Val section you'll find 'harmless' adult games. There are love coupons, lottery type scratch offs, I favor the die that say bedroom, kitchen, front lawn on one and touch, kiss, rub, etc on the other. There are lots of games and other stuff that are fun ways of taking baby steps toward becoming freaky and leaving each other in a pool of sweat.

2. Make love to her every day all day
Foreplay for ladies is more than it is for us. For us it's friction, rub it, lick it, touch it, if it reacts then we're good to go. Not so much with the ladies, for her it's that peck on the neck she wasn't expecting while she's cooking breakfast. It's opening the door and listening while she goes on and on in detail about something she knos you have no interest in. She knows it goes in one ear and out the other, but she only wants to unload her day and you're listening. PDAs are always fun, grab her butt in public. Not in a 'hey world watch me grab my girls butt' kinda way, but in a way only she knows you've done it, she'll know you'd do her right there if she'd let you.

3. Try new stuff
Try the same stuff you always do, but out of sequeince, in a different room. Be open to a quickie. Sit the baby down in front of her favorite cartoon or coloring book then run off and bang one out really quickly. The question thing is good and bad, imo. For me it seems rather academic, but on the other hand it is a way to learn likes, dislikes and curiousities. Explore.

4. Laugh
Sex can be hilarious. We tend to take it so seriously and we shouldn't. Make fun of each others cum face not to humiliate but to tease in a loving way. Get some porn and laugh at the silly things in it.

5. continue this list

 

Today she woke up and said someone in neighbors family living upstairs had a great night.... She heard moaning/crying.... some time back in Tfp someone said they want to make love while another person over phone listening... Is that a way to spice up your regular?
--- merged: Feb 4, 2012 8:20 PM ---

Yup! I gave her a back rub last week and she was about to come!

 

issmmm I agree those works

 

Crap, I rub my woman down with oils and she just sleeps. How da heck does it turn a woman on???? I must have ambien in my fingertips

( she won't let me rub near her nether region, it tickles... )

 

It happened to her bcoz she is pregnant....
If she says it's ticklish then may be she should be way turned on even before you go there.... Guess each woman is unique and to be learnt. But some are frustrating. But when you love them so much there is so much to loose so you don't complain that often....

 

I think women who enjoy themselves and are very aware of themselves are a great head start for their partners......

 

It was weird. We had sex last night and she instigated it. That seemed odd. She normally doesn't do that. But it was different. We had a conversation the other day about everything sex related, and lastnight was different. It wasn't the same ol same ol for a change. Conversation helps. Maybe it was cause I have no stress anymore(see my changing job post) it's weird how much stress can affect your sex but when its stress free. Its sooooooooooooo much better.

 

good for you, sir... good for you... Stress really does make an impact, and if your like me, i only want it if she does... sometimes her stress combined with my stress can make for a tough time... but eventually you either gotta use each other to get rid of the stress, or find some way to get rid of it on you own... (i dont mean that last part inparticular in a sexual way) once the strress is gona, life in general gets a lot better...

 

I didn't realize how much stress can impact your whole life.

 

Agreed.

In fact, I think that what goes on in the bedroom is mostly as a result of what goes on out of the bedroom (and by "bedroom" I am using the word as a catch-all for "sex venue", bet it kitchen, car, sofa, public bathroom or wherever).

Talking, cuddling, shows of affection all help. Mostly, it's about intimacy for many of us. If you can't be intimate and open in other aspects of a relationship, why should intimacy suddenly happen in the sexual arena?

That isn't aimed at you, Ralphie. I have no idea what your relationship is like and wouldn't presume to pretend I do. I'm making a more general observation.

Trust and openness breeds more trust and openness and that leads, in my view, to better sex (and better everything).

Paradoxically, it can even make it OK to have the "I'm just going to use you right now because I'm horny as hell" sex and still have a good relationship. Sometimes it's nice to be used sexually, so long as you don't feel used (if that makes sense).

This is why talking and cuddling and demonstrations of love and understanding help.

 

Public bathroom? I was in London in Oct., I would have never known.

 

Stress is indeed a mood killer.

 

Try mutual masturbation.. it works wonders sometimes.

 

Yep, if she enjoyed herself, then maybe I could enjoy her too. A person who doesn't know what turns themselves on is difficult to please. And if nothing turns them on.... well

 

Cayvmann How is she after couple of drinks? same? Did you do anything to find out whether you are part of the problem?

 

that is the best thing ive herd in a long time

 

Hi, Ralphie, I've not visited your thread for a while and I've missed out. Congratulations for February 5th - that sure's a milestone. How's things been going since then?

All the best