Pointless Announcements

oh hey man, yeah thanks.

(fucker)​

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oh my fracking heysoos herbert cristo, i hate you, us postal service. I HATE YOU.
they didn't update the website, so i went to the gym.
and missed the delivery of my fucking wedding ring.
my beautiful ring is on a truck with a smelly driver headed back to the stupid post office down the street from
the STD-ridden naval base, surrounded by trailer parks and crack whores.
i just wanted to go to the goddamn gym, and now i have to go to the post office to pick it up whenever it gets there.
i'm going armed. walther in my glovebox and pepper spray in my hand.
and my husband, who is sitting in the Willis Tower, is laughing at me and taunting me with messages like,
"you could have had it right now" and "Haha!"

 

and they wonder why they're becoming non-existent.

I gotta say though, your man has got cojones.

 

Only because he's 1000 miles away.
Well, not really. He's not afraid of me.
I just got, "Well, you could wait until tomorrow."
Motherfucker, they don't re-deliver.
I'd just be delaying the inevitable.

And, the website just updated... that it was out for delivery at 9:06.
It's 12:13, fucktards. AUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Angry Uterus is pissed.

 

Found this on another board and thought everyone would get a kick out of it...especially Plan9

 

Me: Hey, these lids are combustible.
(bizarre look from co-worker)
Me: Oh, wait. That's not the word I wanted. Compostable.
(smile)
Me: It would be so much more awesome if they were combustible though.
(Head-shake)

 

Is it over with yet?

 

I was walking a woman through a flash install earlier. She was really confused that she was getting something different than the page I was describing. Took me a minute, but I realized she typed the url into the search bar, not the address bar. heh.

 

Elf on the Shelf. This is news to me

 

In some browsers it's the same.
I'm still waiting for you to come a cross a customer with a problem with the cup holder

 

Totally read that as "icing my brain" and got a little confused.

 

I should have had the bloody mary

 

I could use a little icing of the brain, myself. Instead, I made the pudding/custard from the Boston Cream Pie (for the fourth time, by request) to take to a friend's house for dinner.

And, I got my ring from the Post Office Nazis!!! But, actually, the lady that went in the back and searched all over the place was so nice. It's the IT people at the USPS that I want to smack.