Pointless Announcements

Shut it. No it was an "oh my god, what the hell is going on here" post.
That place is crazy-weird. They never even checked my ID and the people behind the glass were making fun of people in the waiting room. It was a sad place.

You people have way too much free time.

 

I know, right? The part of me that's happy for people is quickly killed off by the part of me that is tired of all the subtle hints about name changes and rings 'n shit. Horrible attitude. I don't know how to ignore it. I go to weddings and I'm super happy that they're happy and the whole time my cranky divorce demon is going, "Yeah, good luck, motherfuckers!" In the voice of Mark Wahlberg, of course. I was cheated! I don't know how to get over it.

...

C'mon, brother... I thought you and I were gonna do a double "butt in the moonbeam walk" pose, Lethal Weapon-style, for June 2013.

The shear amount of soaked panties it would cause... damn... leave the US looking like Hurricane Katrina does house calls.

 

That reminds me of a time when I went to a gynecologist and the nurses and receptionist were talking about another patient while I was sitting in the waiting room. I don't know if they thought I couldn't hear them or what, but they were being very derisive and judgmental. Didn't like the doctor, either, never went back there again.

 

Humble Borla. Say, that'd be a great Halloween costume!

Husband. Mm, I could have been an amazing husband. Coulda been a contender.

But my hippie exwife decided that she needed to do what humans do naturally (get pregnant) right fuckin' now and I... oddly enough... didn't want to do what humans do naturally right now (get her pregnant) because I was worried about doing things that humans don't do naturally... like getting a classroom education in social constructs that manage aberrant behavior and having an occupation that transfers electronic 1s and 0s to an electronic box in my name so I can pay for things that humans don't have naturally... like automobile insurance and electricity and delicious Coors Light.

Whoa, did I just say delicious Coors Light wasn't natural? A sin, but Coors Light forgives me.

 

Mmmmmmm silver bullet......

 

Coors is a fascist product.

 

Neo-fascist or just regular type?

 

Well I don't know that for sure about you, but assholes usually get displayed on the back of the calendars.

 

Do they pay by the accidental mile?

 

At 4 in the morning my brain is in Rorschach mode. No idea where that came from, really.
--- merged: Aug 28, 2012 at 2:46 PM ---

And are hung in the bathroom just in case.

 

Ooooh....page 666.

I feel like it should be more.....devilish.

Cue the_jazz and Glory's Sun for some sodomy related posts....

 

I don't actually own any picture wall calendars... what's the joke?

 

I know!! It seems just like yesterday I was still working on wedding stuff....whats even harder to believe is that its almost been 9 years since we met...which also means I've been on TFP 9 years lol

 

One more year and you get the coffee mug.

 

I'll pass lol I got a TFP wedding shower and got to sleep with snowy and paddyjoe and uncle phil dressed in toilet paper wedding dresses just for me....thats much better