Pointless Announcements

I thought she was a belly button near a gigantic pair of boobs.

*****

Get out of my mind!

 

I thought her circle should be larger. At least equal to the others. In every way.

 

Most, if not all of my ex-girlfriends will assure you that I can be quickly forgotten after the second drink.

 

My network drive is down. I think I'll clean my desk...maybe file some stuff. Actually, I''ll probably just play on the interwebs.

 

Do they really qualify as "girlfriends" because you bought them a drink?

 

Why did I have to roofie my own drink when I was out with MeltedMetalGlob?

 

That was an old trick you learned from that time you went out for a drink with the_jazz , you knew your roofie was a weaker dose than what he was going to use and it helped you forget you were there before you even left.

 

I know this has nothing to do with nothing, but interesting nonetheless.

 

I can't believe I almost forgot to say Happy 100th Birthday to Julia Child!!!! Loved her!!!

 

Invested in a pharmaceutical company so don't blame me if they start the zombie apocalypse with their new drug.

 

*makes note to stock up on ammuntion and weapons. Do you think 10,000 hollow point .45 caliber rounds will be enough for a start?*
also makes note to be on ZombieSquirrel 's good side as her minions might be a lot harder to dispose of if they swarm me en masse.

 

Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little... My bar experiences were more like this, anyway:

 

Why are people late for meetings THEY scheduled?

 

Event Time Announcer

 

I've gotten 7 calls from some kid in Lubbock who just really wants to talk to Cal. She doesn't believe me that he's not here. It's my google voice number, too, so who knows?

 

If she calls back, tell her Cal said she was too fat and he wants someone older.

 

My thumb hurts