Pointless Announcements

You're such a New Balance commercial.

 

One of my assistants quit this morning. To take a job for a few dollars more and a gigantic step backwards. I'm hoping that I can talk him out of it, but if I can't so long free time.

 

Hire me. I'm retarded but I don't mind 14 hour days or using a bucket as a toilet.

 

Because I won't be correcting his grammar while he's on the phone.

 

You know, for what Jazz was paying Kandy Kanes (his actual assistant), I'm sure he can afford two quirky white guys.

I'm only in this for the sitcom potential. My knowledge of "insurance" for "risk management" involves support fire weapons.

 

In Chicago? Are you kidding? He has to have mucho connections to get a permit for us to carry karate chops.

 

I'm pretty sure The_Jazz can just sexually assault whatever would-be attackers we come across.

 

the_jazz didn't mention the outfit that Kandy had to wear at work that was written into her contract. You guys are lacking the uh..."personality" to wear it properly.
I hear the the _jazz wears the full Dr Frank-N-Furter outfit and makeup when his contract only calls for the heels though.

 

Speed,

The correct term for the sole qualification that sexist pigs concern themselves with as far as just-a-piece-of-meat women is called "talent." If a girl is attractive, she's got talent. If she's not a little hardbody that keeps her mouth shut, she's probably referred to as "smart" or "has a good personality."

/Bateman

 

As shocking as this may sound, I am generally "old school" as the kids these days say and was thinking of this gem from one of my favourite films ever. Hard to go wrong with the comic pairing of Bob & Bing and the major hubba hubba factor of the talented younger Dorothy Lamour. I have all but the last Road Film from 1962 in my collection, that one does not count if you ask me.

 

Damnit, Bateman. YouTube embedding fail.

 

Why would he want two quirky white guys when he could have two succulent white tits?

How much does it pay the_jazz ? You do know I'd break your hand off if you touched me. I don't mind you looking, but no touching. If i can make more than Kandy, I'll dress like Joan Harris on Mad Men.

What would I have to do?

 

...the hell?

$50 says he picks me over you if we do a close-up contest. I'll shave and rub baby oil on my pecs. They're hella perky, girl. You don't stand a chance.