Pointless Announcements

Yeah, I just had a Diet Mountain Dew and I'm pacing the apartment so bad that I had to take off my pants because I was sweating.

 

Bloody Westerners pretending to drink tea. I should connect you with my parents, who individually consume 2+ liters of green or black tea every day, and they'll let you know a few tricks when it comes to that subject.

On a sidenote, I like lemon-flavored ice tea only.

 

It seems more often than not that a mark gets put in the "dick" column for the professor.

Today I learned he didn't want to "advertise" an aspect of his career unless it "benefited" him.

Next I'll hear he thinks Rugby is a ridiculous sport and I'll have to punch him in the throat just to shut him up.

This should be a turn off for me, but I'm intrigued just how douchey this guy can get.

 

I will never understand why women keep wetting their holes for complete assholes. Even when they fully realize they're assholes.

Facing the same mystery as to why my SO is still sticking around... I'm very often a massive dickhead.

Must be my charm and superior good looks.

 

I like him when he's angry.

 

Why you bust my balls on the UK-spelling of liter, spinach bro? Thought you're American...

"Canada" you say? Ah yeah, the 52nd state of the USA.

Also... 2+ liters of black/green tea every day for the past 50 years.

What's that? Your face is a dandy pansy? Get the hell outta here.

Fucking celery stick-munching, cardigan-wearing foureyes.

 

SirLance is very amused by the tea argument.

Tea is great, as long as it has a shot of amaretto in it.

 

FTFY

 

That's the outside temperature gauge, man.

 

I knew this reaction would happen..

I'll be honest. I need an asshole to deal with me. I just walk all over nice guys. I don't tend to have a lot in common with the overly sensitive. However, I have been known to give nice guys a chance, but they tend to be too whiney/needy/weird/annoying. If I'm going to emasculate someone, I prefer that he actually deserves it.

Also, don't feed me the nice guys finish last bullshit. They go for the wrong women (me) all the time too when there are perfectly lovely, more deserving women out there who are pining for them. Mostly it's the douchebags that have the balls to ask a woman out.

Nice guys can be more hurtful too. When a dick breaks a lady's heart, it's expected. When a nice guy does it, it's harder to take.

I'm sure TFP ladies think MUCH differently than I do. It would be nice to be proven wrong by a nice guy with a lot of patience.

 

Or there was a tree
You know with shade

 

But wait. I'm an asshole.

 

Well, then we should probably have dirty dirty sex that is very angry. Wear a suit like a headmaster would wear and I'll dress like a catholic school girl. You can punish me with all your asshole ways. We'll have our own private TFP meetup.

I'll let you know when I hate myself enough to allow this to happen.

 

I'm picking out a suit. And a ruler. Maybe even a monocle.

Call me?

 

I think you two just broke my brain.