Pointless Announcements

I was so close to making an inappropriate resonse to where the protein came from...
But the Crazy Moutain Lawyers, Guns and Money barleywine last night is making my head assplode this morning. I can't think.

 

Speaking of UFC fighting: I like how each fighter mentions they are going to war and how they are going to kill their opponent only to enter the octagon moving or circling each other for about 1 minute before one has the courage to actually punch/kick the other.
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I found the answer to the question of, Who Is John Galt? I just had to read 147 pages.

 

Rainy Sunday mornings are meant to be spent in bed.


But it's off to work I go.

 

There is no jizz in MMA, BG. I love that shite.
I missed Jon Jones last night

 

He's obviously pretending to be vegan. You people are the weakest members of humanity.

Probably goes out after every fight win and gets himself a trophy full of burgers to munch on.

Mmmm.... meat.

 

Just found out that they are only giving me two tickets for my graduation. Two fucking tickets! Which would mean that I couldn't even have all three of my girls in there, let alone my brother, sister and a couple of friends, too. Argh! That pisses me off. They have a room in some other building with a closed circuit tv set-up for the 'overflow.' I've never heard of anything so ridiculous. All the money that has gone to this school and the work I've put into getting this degree...argh. They can kiss my summa cum laude ass. I'm not going to walk.

 

You could always bribe and/or threaten a classmate for at least one more ticket for a kid and more if needed...

 

Hah! I just pictured the Stanley Cup filled with McDonald's hamburgers. I bet you could get at least fifty in that thing.

...

When did you become so violent? I know you're joking but I'm starting to see a pattern here.

Hey, TFP... if I disappear on 12 July it's because a certain Noodle shanked me with a fork.

 

Actually, that reminds me of the "Where did x TFPer go?" thread.

So many wacky nutjobs no longer grace our presence here.

 

I wasn't joking, I actually bribed and threatened for more tickets.
And, I prefer a spoon for shanking... Max pain, more digging.

 

Yeah, I'm pretty excited. We're gonna get drunk and tell stupid stories for hours.

You'll probably get up and leave and I'll still be talking to the bartender.

...

Also:

Hey, my plaque came today! Check it out, guys. Thanks, Baraka_Guru.

 

It's finals week and between studying and work I don't have time that I'm willing to use for threatening and bribing. The ceremony is next Friday after all.
Fuck it. We'll all just go out to dinner.

 

Who can I shank?

 

Wait a minute... it actually is!

Nah. Our bellyfat stops the kinetic force of punches and kicks like that movie in which Jean-Claude Van Damme fights that huge sumo guy in the ring ( Plan9 should know which one I'm talking about... Claude's friend gets killed/badly injured by sumo guy). I even remember reading a 2010 news story in Germany on a Bavarian guy surviving being impaled by a tree trunk (car accident) only because his huge belly diverted the trunk from his vital organs. Now that is a meat hero. Weißwurst for everyone!

Gatorade and water, eh? I always preferred a good ol' Oporto chicken burger after sparring/training sessions:

No chance, brah. Here, have a celery stick. *chews the former chicken into little pieces in his mouth and swallows its cooked, delicious remains*

 

Delicious fatty food wins over gatorade any day. Winners consume burgers.

You're very welcome.