Pointless Announcements

Hah! Oh, that's a hoot. You're a goddamn comedian. Collecting tickets for the Chessie ride at Baltimore harbor. Serious business, I know.



Get off my nuts. We all know my lack of a 12th grade vocabulary and proper citations clowns me like the Howard Dean laugh on a regular basis.

 

I was actually talking about your second job as the Assistant to the Jizz Moper down at the local jerk shack.

That Crompsin dude, though, he was a real grown-up. Much more of one than I am, anyway.

 

Mopey Jizz? Is that what depressed guys shoot?

My cat finally got tired of fetching.
That little shit took his ball, walked past me, and threw himself in the cave
at the bottom of the cat tower. And sighed.
He needed both entertainment and exercise. Like I'm some big meanie head.

 

I had a pretty fantastic lunch. Now I'm all ready to be productive.

 

YEEAARRGHHHH!!

 

Will not play with newts, will not play with newts, will not play with newts....

 

At this point the_jazz says "yes" and "pictures or it didn't happen"

 

damn. it's cold.

 

I've always wondered if the internet would exist as it does today if nude photos didn't exist. Would Steve Jobs said screw it and went into the film industry instead?

 

When I worked at the bank, no one else was allowed to use the shredder. It was ALL MINE. I even did a dorky little dance when I got to use it.

***

Whenever I do something "responsible," you know, stuff that EVERY ADULT has to do, I always think of that Hyperbole and a Half post. Like today. Sing-songy voice, skipping down the city building stairs: "I just paid the waaaaater biiiiiill. Like a motherfucking aduuuuult!"

 

here i am this morning, getting ready for work and i realized that i completely forgot to mention that on Tuesday a co-worker and I were called assholes by a twenty-year old pregnant girl and then, as she was storming off, K called out, 'thank you!' she yelled back 'fuck you!'

it was sterling.

 

sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment. or to grow up either one

 

Had an extremely promising 6-hour meeting today.

I'm bloody excited for what is to come in the short-, medium- and long-term future.

Gonna enjoy the start of the weekend with a couple Gordon's Dry Gin + Black Toro mixed drinks.

 

Our local, at work, Rush Limbaugh wannabe just said he listened to a interview with Pat Buchanan and didn't realize how intelligent he was... Low standards are low