Pointless Announcements

Jobs that I performed in the past



1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned . Couldn't concentrate .

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it , so they gave me the ax .

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it --mainly because it was a sew-sew job,
and people liked to hem and haw about the price.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. I tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15.....President of the United States is the best job out their.....
No qualification needed...
No citizenship required....
No accountability required...
No knowledge of government needed
You can blame everyone else...even the weather...
You can spend all the money you want to
After four years your done ..and you get the same pay
check each month for the rest of your life.....!!!

 

I'm probably dying.
Fuck you, fireball.

 

My buddy went to the drag races yesterday not too far from here and afterwards stopped into a hole-in-the-wall Whataburger.
They had just sat down after ordering, when in walks Vanilla Ice.
Now, I was never a fan of his music, but am a big fan of his home-rehab show. I was jealous.
Hehe, he also said he seemed blazed. He was cool enough to take a pic with my buddy, though.

 

Vanilla Ice recently appeared at some event here (you can tell how much attention I paid to his appearance), and even the local TV tele-prompter readers were asking, "Vanilla Ice? Why?".

 

Molly would have been pissed, "get out of the water" is at the very top of her selective hearing "ignore" list.

Of course, she is bouyant. She'd have paddled to the middle and flipped me the paw.

 

If you hadn't been there, he could have drowned. Those covers wrap around you, limiting your movement. Then a bit of water ends up on top, further pushing you down. A person can climb off if they don't panic, a dog might not be able to figure that out.

 

First thing we always did in AZ was introduce new dogs to the pool. They were all water dogs from day 1. The hard part was convincing the dog that he couldn't swim down 8 feet to get the tennis ball at the bottom of the pool.

 

My little baby birds that I hired won't stop latching on to me. Fly baby birds, Fly! Go forth and do your job. I can no longer help you.

 

Let me tell you how awesome @Poetry is. I may never regain my breath from laughing. I need her to run my yurt campground.

 

That wasn't me, it was mostly Cyn and a number of friends. Though, admittedly, I was IMing a few people with pieces of info to get things really going.

OH SHIT. ALLEN DIDN'T POST HIS CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT.

I need to go put that up there.

 

Funny no matter how many times I've read it
We have an 11 pound Silkie Terrier, he hates the water like a cat, I wouldn't even try to give him a bath, he goes to a groomer....dog bites really hurt.

 

We have an adult female sheltie that weighs about 20 pounds. It's my understanding most adult Shelties are about twice her size and around double her weight. She's either a runt, or a very rare sheltie .

 

Or she's a mini. I had a friend with a toy sheltie as a kid. That was a cool dog.

 

Ah-mayzing