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Pointless Announcements

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Baraka_Guru, Aug 2, 2011.

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  1. My kids play with my cat like he's a dog.....one day they'll understand he's a cat. Which means he moves for only two reasons 1. Food 2. Litter box.

    But then they'll get old enough to ask why we have him if that's all he can do....I have no answer for that.
     
  2. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Baby is not here yet.
     
  3. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    Canker sores make bjs a total pain in the... mouth.
     
  4. Knight Templar

    Knight Templar Holy Warrior

    Location:
    Struthers,Ohio
    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


    We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'


    Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.


    Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.


    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


    Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.


    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.


    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.


    Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.


    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.


    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.


    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.


    He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


    Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them


    Sincerely,

    Crock O. Schit
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    going to breakfast with my sister
     
  6. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I think I've gone from the point of investing, absorbing and comprehending it all...to just being over it. :rolleyes:

    I think I just want to sit and watch the world go by.
    Ooo, a squirrel.
    Ah, a cloud.
    Mmm, rain.

    It just is.
     
  7. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    Missed you all!
     
    • Like Like x 6
  8. Speed_Gibson

    Speed_Gibson Hacking the Gibson

    Location:
    Wolf 359
    You might want to take some lessons on aiming but considering the size of @Borla 's head that is a hard target to.......oh wait, sorry.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  9. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    • Like Like x 1
  10. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Nights like last night remind me of how lucky we are to have such awesome friends. My husband celebrated his birthday yesterday, and we had a great time.
     
  11. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
  12. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Tully Mars

    Tully Mars Very Tilted

    Location:
    Yucatan, Mexico
    Yet another sleepless night. This has become old.
     
  14. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    Welcome to my world.
     
  15. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    I had one, as well, but it was because we had a spurt of tornado touchdowns in our county and the surrounding counties.
    Both my brother's and sister's properties had trees uprooted and damage to property, but I remained unscathed. Yes! I win! Oh, wait, I have no spouse or children....damn.

    /walks away sad-like, to the old Incredible Hulk tv theme song
     
    • Like Like x 3
  16. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    Awake since 2, coo coo catchoo!
     
  17. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    Just bought The Sword of Shannara Trilogy on Kindle.
     
  18. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Coworker to another coworker: Did he try to foist issues of (prominent feminist magazine) on you?

    Me: *cough* I may be a subscriber to said magazine...
     
  19. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    I think my teenage niece has passed me in maturity.
    Both my brother and sister's electricity have been off since the storms and tornado came through earlier in the week, and my sister sent her kids over to my place to get out of the heat and do a bit of laundry.
    I had forgotten some clothes in the dryer and my niece folded them without being asked to, and washed and dried their clothes while my nephews played video games.
    I would've just tossed them on top of the dryer, or in a clothes basket.
    Btw, this is the honor roll girl. She's going places, I tell you!

    /crosses fingers
     
    • Like Like x 5
  20. I don't even think a swift kick to the cunt would help her.
    --- merged: May 28, 2015 at 6:49 PM ---
    FYI, I wasn't referring to @Fremen's niece. She sounds lovely.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
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