Pointless Announcements

So @Lish buddy,

uh... how's that vote for Abbott working out for ya?

 

Coffee engage in 5... 4... 3... 2...
Research Sunday.

 

coooffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Good grief, I feel like I want to run around in circles like a kindergartener.

 

Hey, @noodle my love! Please send me some of your magic java. I'm needing it badly today.

On a related note, good to see you in such a "up" mood. I'll try my best to copy it.....-at some point!

I might try mild electrical shocks next.

 

Scored 3 times this weekend.

 

Nothing but net, Ralphie!

 

Cafe Du Monde Coffee and Chickory, 15 Ounce: Amazon.com: Grocery & Gourmet Food

This stuff is the bomb, baby.

 

Old joke: My wife told me that she enjoys vacation sex the most. I have to take her word for it, we take separate vacations.

 

You know how I know I'm drunk?

Watching The Angry Red Planet (1959) with the old lady and I straight-up used "Pfft, I've totally hit you in the face with my penis harder than that!" in conversation.

 

Eh, I don't know if she likes it but I figure it's part of me asserting my dominance over her razor-sharp fangs.

/and I'm one chomp away from John Wayne Bobbit territory

 

Really? I don't think it would be able to take him or it seriously afterwards. "Seriously? I think that hurts you more than it does anything to me."

Eh. Different strokes for different folks.

Heh. Strokes? Penis? Get it? I'm so punny.

 

When the 5th grade kid at work was telling me about tea bagging, I was so afraid that "mushroom stamp" was going to come out of his mouth, too.
Not only do I not "have a bag to tea with," as he told me earnestly.... I don't have a mushroom to stamp with, either.

 

What about sex have you been taking seriously?

You're doing it wrong.

 

All of a sudden I'd like a Diet Coke with Vanilla. Damn you, @plan9

 

Get a grip,

or

let it go.


Punnyism is contagious.

 

I like my sex like I like my episodes of Dinosaurs...

Short, funny and featuring lots of zany antics.

*rimshot*