Pointless Announcements

Hahaha, we really need to drink together some time. Push out that kid and hit up the TFP DC meetup.

Do it. Do it meow.

 

I don't know if the world would be ready for us to be in the same place at the same time.

BabySquirrel seems interested though. When I read this, she started kicking up a storm.

Brat.

 

Today I learned that I treat cows like food because that's my relationship with them.

Note to cows: If you're not running with the pack, you're just another meatloaf.

...

Also: I can't even lie, if we were stranded on a desert island, I would eat another TFPer.

You might have a wonderful personality and it's nothing personal, it's just protein.

 

How long would you wait before eating one of us?

 

I've gone for a short period of time without food, I guess I can handle a couple of days.

Or, you know, however long it takes me to make a solid Dakota fire hole. 20 minutes?

 

But you don't want your "steak" to lose too much mass. If it's inevitable that you're going to be on that island for a long time, you might as well get it over with before they get too skinny. Find a way to make people jerky and you'll be good for awhile.

 

Well, sure, in a survival situation I'm going to want as much fat as I can get. But, no, that's discrimination.

Pretty sure my desperate island survival situation would get shut down for an EO violation or something.

It's truly amazing how we've been able to legislate equality in even the most dire of circumstances, isn't it?

Indeed. Nothing would look sexier on certain TFPers than a jerky drying rack.

I'm not into bondage at all, but I am rather partial to delicious dried meat strips.

 

You're weak. I'm eating you first.

 

You're a female rugby player and I have no doubt that you could bring the business.

You know, it's why I respect you, I think. My tiny dog brain actually fears you a little.

 

I'd make a rugby ball out of your bloated bladder.....It would be my Wilson.

As you should...

 

Folks, you heard it here first:

I am friends with a pregnant lady that says she would fight me to the death and eat my scrawny thigh meat if it was necessary for her survival.

You really don't know true human connection until you've encountered something like this.

Hell, my own girlfriend wouldn't eat my dead body. Pathetic.

A gold star for @ZombieSquirrel.

 

Today, @plan9 is my favorite.

 

He's pretty rad, ZS.

My momma sent me a REAL christmas tree in the mail. I'm so excited!
One cat is cowering in fear (it's all of two and a half feet tall) and the other is covered in sap from playing in the box.
I love the smell of evergreens! AND... I get to make habanero 'snaps this weekend after I get back from my Houston outlet mall adventure to find new shoes to keep my toesies warm. Boo, I need to go by IKEA, but yay 'snaps!

 

Yeah, that's pretty much how this works.

 

I wouldn't eat any of you. Kill you, yes. Eat you? Not so much.
--- merged: Dec 12, 2013 at 5:35 PM ---

Sadly, no tuba player in the band.

(note: I played the tuba in middle school)

 

Can Publix commercials make me cry more?? And I was sure I had a black heart...

 

This relief doctor is awkward with the people.

 

I just found a dog's tooth on the floor of one of our exam rooms. Pretty sure i know which tired old maw it fell from, too.