Pointless Announcements

Seriously?! Who (over the age of 30) does NOT know who Mitch Hedberg is?!
EPIC FUCKING FAIL.

 

Listened to a lot of Mitch in the lab today.

"Saaaved by the buoyancy of citrus"

 

i do not know a mitch hedberg.

 

Quadrupletree?

 

"I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved."

 

ha. nab'd by freaking awesome daughter #1. i could hug her to death. i feel so much better now.

 

Do you like toast?

 

I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

I have been talked into buying a black Wii with a Wii Sports, Sports Resort and Party bundle.

And a second controller. And 2 nunchucks. And Super Mario Galaxy. And Mario Party 9. And Super Smash Bros Brawl. And Punch Out!!

/curses women and their manipulations

//secretly always wanted all of the above, but couldn't be bothered

 

Another of Mitch's...

"I think they could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now, saying, "Damn, remember sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank! They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: 'Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... bun.' How's a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's fuckin' magical! There's got to be some sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never gave them a chance! What the fuck is a sesame? It's a street...it's a way to open shit!"

 

Mad Men 5 is on Netflix streaming.

 

Sometimes I like you.

 

I absolutely love my father.

My dad comes downstairs:

"GS. I want to watch Snookie and J-Woww. Come on. I call myself "the Rich-uation"."

 

Is it a sign you are getting old(er) when you frequently are not sure what is in the post someone is quoting of yours even if you are certain you posted not too long ago?
...shuffles off to yell at those damn whippersnappers on my lawn again near my prized flower beds that actually all died three years ago..

 

Bring your father to Toronto. He sounds like fun. My father never referred to himself by name and wore really conservative ties.

...

Totally saw a Baraka_Guru clone at the gym tonight. Pasty skin, Serious Man glasses and a freakin' sweatband atop his determined-yet-aloof brow.

I wanted to fight him.

 

I need a montage!

 

oh my god, like, mandarin oranges.
not those shitty canned ones.
but.real.mandarin oranges.
why have I not suffered these tiny wedges of habit-forming citrus before this kind day?
I live in Florida for christ's sake.