People calling you by your first name...

I also sense the condescension. It resembles adults speaking to kids. I've become pretty tense about this, because it also makes me think, is it something I evoke in them. Is it not just the name, but how I appear.

 

In the Army I was 'Steely' to everyone from the major down. If I was in the shit it was 'Sapper Steel!' (usually followed
by the order : In my office, Now!). To my brother and my biker mates I'm 'Stick'. My builder mates call me 'Vern' (there is a
comic book character called Big Vern and he's a paranoid psycopath. What? Me? A psycho? God forbid!).
Mrs. Stick and my mum are the only ones who call me by my first name.

 

What could they even abbreviate to? You're already "[syllable]y", which is the archetype for the diminutive nickname.

My first name is Martin, and only the select few (One pottery teacher in pre-school, one ancient Native American boy scout leader, and one grizzled machining professor) have gotten away with "Marty."

The only nickname that has any traction with me is actually just an ironic pronunciation that has carried over from some internet forums is Mar10--when said aloud, Mar-ten is so close to Mar-tin that unless I know the people are doing it I probably wouldn't even notice.

Oh, and I assume anyone who addresses me as Mr. Surname is trying to sell me something.

 

The only problem I have with my name (Peter), aside from it's startling un-originality, is people automatically assume they can shorten it, within about 2 seconds of meeting me, to "Pete" which I detest. Which then I have to correct them on, which I probably hate more then them shortening it. I don't mind nicknames, in fact my family have called me by my initials for about 40 years now, but I hate when people shorten my name.

 

if people call me by my name, i'm in deep trouble for something. people that want to get my attention have endless explitive adjectives and nouns that they know i'll respond to.

 

To those who know me, I'm Joanie. If someone calls me Joan, it's apparent they don't know me and I'm forced to assume they wish me great harm. I immediately call 911 or refer them to my non-existent lawyer.

I never called my parents by their first name nor have my kids ever called me by my first name but a friend of mine has a teenage daughter who addresses her by her given name. My friend brushes it off but I find it disrespectful. Maybe it's just the way I was raised.

 

My kids just wish I'd get their names straight, especially when the next words out of my mouth are "you're grounded!" or "your turn to do dishes." But with 3 kids and 2 dogs, I usually yell the wrong name first. At home, I am called Dear, Mom, and Mommy. To my face, anyway.

My sister-in-law shares my first and last name, so the in-laws usually include our middle names when addressing us. When they don't, it gets confusing. "she went to the store" "no, she's in the kitchen" "oh, she's back already? darn, I was going to have her pick up milk" Fifteen minutes later ItWasHer shows up "oh, why didn't you call me and ask me to buy some? I was just there 3 minutes ago..." Yah.

 

I'm in the same boat as Lucifer, everyone assumes the can shorten my name to Dave which is an exemption I only give to about five people. There is an exception for a group of friends, all Daves, who all have an accompanying hand gestures. They were adamant about assigning me one so I grabbed at my crotch and said "I've got your Dave right here".... and it stuck. So now, in certain circles, I am known as Dave GrabCock.

 

I'm fairly chill, so I don't mind being called by my first name, as long as it is pronounced correctly. I dislike the large numbers of people who cannot pronounce my first name, or the nickname form of it, but persist in trying anyhow.

I have never really had a nickname not based on my name. At least, not one I liked or tried to keep: I occasionally got called "Book" and "Shakespeare" and "Vocabulary," and some less pleasant things, by kids in middle school who did not share my literary proclivities. And one summer in camp, after learning a hard lesson about not going commando under sweatpants when the girls are going down to the lake in bikinis, I got tagged with the nickname "Woody." Thank God, none of these stuck.

My wife and I call one another almost exclusively "baby," or "husband" and "wife;" though she occasionally will call me "sweetheart," and once or twice in jest I have called her "Boo Boo Kitty Fuck." I have always had pet names with the major relationships in my life: my first long-term girlfriend was Scottish/Irish, and we called one another "mo chroidh," Gaelic for "my heart;" my second and I called each other "sweetie;" and my last before Mrs. Levite and I called each other "honey."

What really annoys me, though is the prevalence of people who call me, and other rabbis "Rabbi [First Name]." I hate that. As my wife points out, it sounds like "Farmer Bob." And it just seems to indicate people going "I recognize you have some sort of nominal authority, and that makes me uncomfortable." I always tell people, either call me "Rabbi [Last Name]" or just call me by my first name. But don't try to be informally formal with me, because it doesn't work.

 

So, are you Rabbi Marshak, Rabbi Nachtner, or Rabbi Ginzler?

 

I have no problem with people using my first name when they talk to me. It puts me on a more personal level with people, which I don't see as a bad thing.

 

I don't allow my child's playmates to call me by *just* my first name, though they are want to. They have to put a "Mr." in front of it. After all, they are not allowed to call their teachers, principal, bus driver, et al., by just their first names.

When I first began enforcing this rule with my child's playmates, my wife thought I was being old fashioned, and she didn't want to be called "Ms." by them because it made her feel old. She soon changed her mind about that as she began dealing with the unruliness and disrespect of those kids.

 

Nice. I would sincerely hope I am none of those three rabbis, though....

 

I'm sure you're not.

 

I had an odd upbringing, where my parents never really defined proper behavior (as far as names were concerned) and I think my opinions stem from a lot of different things. My mom and dad were mom and dad. Grandma was grandma to me, grandmother when referred to by my father, and mother from him to her. From this, I picked up that mother was a term of exasperation rather than endearment, but mom was fine. From a lot of my family, it seemed that to refer to your mom or dad by first name was disrespectful.

The neighbors on either side of my house were complete opposites. On one side was an upstanding Christian family who were very proper. On the other side was a single mother who was an alcoholic with a string of abnoxious boyfriends. I was friends with both their children. I always called the one family Mr. and Mrs., and the other neighbor was just Karen. After typing that, I have no idea what it has to do with this topic, but it's 0400 and it seemed relevant at the time.

I've always been Davie to my family, since my father was the Dave of the household. There are still a very few friends who I know from when I was very young who continue this out of habit. To all my friends growing up, I was Dave, and to all my teachers I was David. I always got a little uncomfortable mixing the two, and always politely asked my teachers to call me David rather than Dave.

Now that I am in the military, being called by first name is very unusual, even among co-workers outside of work. I've been in long enough that anyone addressing me other than Sergeant is out of the ordinary. I can't quite remember whether it was the military or before that where I started calling people I interacted with Sir or Ma'am, but it's a habit now, which tends to annoy my civilian co-workers, especially the females. They all seem to think that being called Ma'am is a sign of being old, instead of a sign of respect.

If I ever decide to have children, I think that I'll try to instill my habits into them. I think it's kind of sad that most children I know call all adults they know by first name. I would want my children to learn to show people respect, and learn that you tend to get more respected in turn.

 

I've had a strange experience this week, starting practicum.
I've always been "Ms. Noodle" to the kids I work with.
Now there's "Dr. FirstName" and still "Ms. Noodle."
I can't wait for "Dr. Noodle".
My last name is rarely pronounced right and my first name is a nickname for a longer one with most people.
So the ones that call me by the full name, obviously have no clue who I am.
I love the ones that call me "Mrs. LastName" or "Mrs. S". That kills me.
Our friend addressed a wedding invite to "Mr and Mrs Noodle LastName" and I cracked up.
S has a number of nicknames for me, but he's usually "babes" or a few other choice ones when I'm in one
mood or another. My parents have all kids of nicknames for us, most of which I choose NOT to share.
Every one of my friends has a nickname for me, and typically me for them. It's a sign of affection, I think.
It's weird to hear S call my parents by their first names, too.

 

As much as I like talking to strangers with whom I don't have to exchange names, I prefer my compatriots use mine. My kids call me dad, or variations thereof. Younger son calls me a variety of things. Kind of like my dog, I answer to a # of things/names/titles. Why are so many people calling me "sir"?

 

My cousins call their mother by her first name and it seems perfectly natural to us all, but I am Mom (sometimes Mommy) to my kids.
When the twins were born, the grandmother-in-law asked "You'll call them Danny and Cathy, right?" to which I emphatically replied, "If I wanted to call them that, I would have NAMED them that." No one in either family cuts my kids' names back, but their friends have nicknames for them. My name is used in full by family and pre-internet friends, mostly. Most others call me a shortened version, one or two use my email name and a few have used my TFP name. The only person that ever actually used a nickname for me was and is my dad and only he is allowed to use it.

 

generally people call me with my name, no shortened versions

 

People always call me by my first name. My co-workers have nicknamed me 'Brando,' though. It doesn't bother me, but I don't always respond to it if someone's calling me.

Hopefully your daughter grows out of the stage. I think it's pretty normal for kids to go through that -- I know I did when I was little.