No Children

I've been watching this thread for a while, and I've finally decided to jump in.
You have an opinion on the way you want your life to play out. Offspring are not included. Good that you've figured that out. It's a shame that you're responding so strongly to people who don't share your perspective.

How ready are you to stick with your plan? Have you undergone definitive surgery? Are you certain enough in your desires to go through with a step that would sterilize you for life? If so, good for you. If not, explore what's stopping you.

I have met several people in my life who chose to live child-free. It works wonderfully for them.

I have also met several excellent parents who had every intention of remaining child-free, but didn't sterilize (wouldn't abort) and had a child or two. Those children grew up to be among the most intelligent adults I know. I also know one couple who were told that both partners were hopelessly infertile, they didn't want kids but didn't bother to do anything to stop it from
happening... they eventually got pregnant and the kids grew up to be wonderful people.

You have made your decision. You don't want kids. In your mind, it's final. Make that finality a reality, or life might throw you a curve ball.

Your family, friends, and acquaintances will at times have a difficult time dealing with your plan to have no children. Expect it.
Don't let such things drive a rift between you and those you love. Encourage them instead to respect your choice. Be open and don't let their persistence make you bitter. Show them that your choice to avoid children isn't somehow 'their fault' or even something they can change about you.

You are who you make yourself.


An aside: I have only met 2 people in my life who were so loving and perfectly tempered that I flat-out told them that they needed to be parents, that they would do the world a disservice by not having children. If someone takes you aside personally and tells you honestly that they think you would be an excellent mother, take it as a compliment and find some way to mother those around you in life.

 

I haven't med it final. But I have thought long and hard about it. I'd be happy to have a vasectomy but just haven't because of the questions that come up since I've not already had children. Doctors say, "Don't you think you'll change your mind?" No I don't think so.

People tell me all the time I'd make a great father. No, I don't think that I will because one cannot tell that someone will be a good parent just because they see them for a few hours here and there, or even for a many years of knowing someone. Live with them, you'll know then if they will be a good parent or not. I'm positive I won't be a good parent. I'm barely a good uncle to my sister's kids.

 

You know what I've found experiencing what I have through life
and hearing the multitude of stories from a variety of people and media??

There IS no reason or rhyme for it.
Some have kids, some don't
Some plan to have them, don't...some plan to not, do.
Some are told they can't, or shouldn't, do
Some "think" they shouldn't, do.
And vice versa...

Life has a funny way of making fools of us all. Mother Nature has a hell of a way of disrupting things.

Some who have EVERY opportunity in the book, turn out to be poor parents.
Some who have EVERY cliche or statistical reason to be good parents, are not.
And vice versa.

In the end...most who turn out to be parents...are Good AND Bad, at various points throughout their WHOLE parenthood.
And those who don't turn out to be parents...well, who's to say what could have been, either way??

In the end, if you want a fuckin' kid...try to have a fuckin' kid.
And if you don't want a fuckin' kid...don't have a fuckin' kid.
BTW...Fate & Nature might have a say in this either way...

I will say this...if you DO have a fuckin' kid.
Try to do good by them. Guaranteed. you will NOT be perfect. But at least, try.
I find those that try...tend to have kids that do better. Not guaranteed, but the odds are better.

If you don't...cool Enjoy your free time.

The world & history is made up of trillions of stories.
Great has come from great. Great has come from not so great.
Bad & pathetic has come from all sides and all points in between.

Lincoln...born in log cabin. Became US prez, freed slaves, won a war, got shot in the head. Good family man.
Newton...born after father's death... went crazy, was a dick. Came up with some great shit. Died old in his sleep...Never married or had kids.
Franklin... born to normal family..."did something with his life" and said a few things... Family man...liked having affairs.
Hitler...4th of 6 children wannabe artist, got some power, killed MILLIONS, took over lands...commited suicide. No kids that we know of.
Stalin...born to a shoemaker...kicked out a king...killed & imprisoned TONS, likely poisoned. Big family man...they didn't like him.
Alexander... born to king... got into wars and "real-estate". Died young of fever far away from home. No kids.

These are just 6 men, kind of well known...what about everyone else, men & women, now & in history??? there just a few, some variety...

God or the Universe has come up with a twisted reality show that no current producer could even ponder.
And each season or participant is always another plot.

If you don't have kids...don't worry, others will.
And if they don't...then fine, the universe moves on.

Do as you will.
Try to be nice to each other.

 

Really? I interact with my cats everyday, I still don't think that makes me a good cat owner nor a good parent.

 

I don't really even want to deal with the cats every day, let alone a kid or kids. Cats cry wanting to be played with, I push them off to the side so that I can do what I want with my free time. See that's the idea here, I want to be selfish with my time because I can. I chose and designed my life that way. I have to say this is where it gets touchy for many, because one starts to question the integrity, second guess the choice, decide they can't accept that answer for themselves so they project it back onto the other person stating something coy like, "When you do, you'll know the difference they make in your life."

Sometimes people give their cats/dogs away because they just got tired of the responsibility. I'm sure that if that were easy and legal to do for kids, kids would be given up often in the same manner.

I'm past the hormone side of baby fever so the only thing that I know will make me do something for kids is legal ramifications. To me that's not fair to the kid who didn't ask to be brought into the world.

I think it's like religion, if you can't really explain it to me well better than, "You'll see once you've tried it" well then it's definitely not for me.

 

I hate that part of it. The gene pool gets shallower.

But like with Global Warming, I don't care. I'm not going to be on the planet when it's an ice cube or an inferno. I'm not going to be on the planet when it's overrun by complete idiots and stupid people.

See if people REALLY care about those things, they'd stop with the precious snowflake shit, and actually start to think about the GROUP as a whole instead of the individual.

 

Really? See I'm ONE single individual, and it seems to me that I'm losing 3 to 1, right? A pair of parents and a child is 3 people versus one person at the MINIMUM. If we follow the 2010 census we're talking 2.48 children so that's what 3 children. So that number is more like 5 precious snowflakes to 1 selfish single precious snowflake. Since I'm married, I'll include my wife to make it a bit more fair since she's going to be pretty much with me where ever, just like the kids will be with the other married/domestic partnered people. So 5:2, sorry, we don't do like the Chinese, where the government does it for them.

See I don't want a child to have do deal with those morons in the world, that's ONE aspect of it.

Oh wait, you're saying that I'm not thinking of the group? I spent a lot of time considering my choice.

Of course I am, see my lack of children doesn't contribute more to global warming, landfills, social services burdens, etc. I don't worry about them consuming GMO products. They will not be a consumer of media, crappy toys, cars, and other consumer goods. I don't worry about them ever dealing with healthcare, lack of jobs, crazy housing costs.