No Children

I wouldn't say that I regret having children, but I often wonder what life might be without them. I am often jealous of those who chose to not procreate.

 

Well in Art's case, if I remember correctly, at least on of his kids had severe drug issues and another had disabilities.
Not sure if that should matter but considering Art's personality I can see how it could.

 

my reasoning for not wanting children isn't an 'excuse' Omega, it's a fact

 

My wife and I have been married over 36 years and are child-free by choice. We're both white-collar professionals and, between our careers and our hobbies, have no time (or inclination) to raise spawn. Besides, neither of us are particularly fond of children (ours or anyone elses.) So, it's a win-win!

 

Whenever I see a 40 something couple without children, they always... always... bring up their dogs.

Kids are a pain in the ass at times, and totally awesome. There are a LOT of things I could be doing without kids, and I might even do a few of them, but kids are visceral genetic response, sort of like sex. Once you have them, you get it. I've known my share of "No kids for me!" opps "I'm so glad I had kids!" people. They usually have more.

I'm sure if for some reason I never had kids, I'd be talking about how grand it was not having kids.

I can see regretting children too, even in my case. When you have this much love for something, it opens the door for that much pain.

 

I never want to have kids and have multiple reasons why not. My family have been quite respectful and understanding. I've had plenty of aggressive responses to my life choice and they were all from guys. They range from:
1. It's your duty as a woman
2 Who will take care of you when your older?
3. Oh, your just selfish then
4. That's not an answer. Justify yourself to me- I don't believe you
5. Oh, yes you will. You will change your mind. We will. Don't worry about it. (From ex boyfriend)
6. You'd be a great mother- you should pass on your genes.

I've had scary situations where an acquaintance of mine cornered me and blocked me where I could not move and he would not until I gave him an answer. None of them were right for him (even though I shouldn't have to justify myself to anyone). Luckily, his girlfriend was there and told him to back off. It's scary and upsetting to go through this every time. I've settled on telling people I'm barren and leave it at that.

 

I think "Fuck off, it's none of your business." would be an appropriate response at that point.

 

Warning: I've only read the OP and this, page #17 before posting.

Please, people that do not want kids, know that I, a woman who birthed 2 of them, commend you!

I could go on and on and on...but shortly.
I did not plan either of my kids. Both arrived due to failure to make sure they did not.
Kid #1 was the best little kid in the universe, then at about age 13 became someone most of us would want nothing to do with. Twenty years later, he is still that person.
Kid #2 is great, really a sweet, smart, funny guy.
Two sons, same mother, different dads. They are day and night and I cannot take the fault or the credit for either.

There is so much of one's identity tied up in being a mother--there's really no way to get around that. With my first at age 23, I really hadn't formed my own sense of adult self and so threw myself into the task. Since then, I've always been someone's mom. I would have liked to have spent more time on becoming an adult. I would suggest to my pre-mother self to instead adopt a shelter dog.

Big praise to those who think through their reproductive choices!

 

List of answers (YMMV)

1. Nope, who the hell decided that?
2. Take care of your own self. Your kids are not responsible for you anyway. It's the other way around.
3. And???? Actually bringing a kid into the world is pretty selfish, then expecting that kid to take care of you later, even more so.
4. Justify me having to have one, beeeeyootch.
5. Good bye
6. If you don't want to be a mother, then you'd suck. There are plenty of genes being passed on, no need for mine.

I have a wonderful child, and don't regret that, but it's damned hard to have one.