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No Children

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Mysugarcane, Aug 27, 2012.

  1. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Now you know what it's like. :p
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. omega

    omega Very Tilted

  3. I have chosen recently not to have kids (even being at the ripe age of twenty-two) mostly because I believe the world has enough horny, stumpy humans with fucky eyesight running around. I also realized that the only reason I was ever going to have kids in the first place was because my parents raised me to think that way. Honestly, I believe the people who do conceive in this day and age are selfish and greedy. I know kids are an ungodly money pit, but the only reason to have a kid in 2015 is because: 1) you're reproducing to appease mainstream society and its idea of how humans are supposed to live, 2) you can't think of anything better to do than waste resources, 3) you're not as committed to helping as you tell yourself. Because if you were you'd adopt or mentor some underprivileged kid, or 4) you want some obedient little servant that looks like you and will be guilted in to being your retirement plan.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    You still can make a decision about it. Do it now. You can always change your mind later.

    Just like Rush said,"If you choose not to decide
    You still have made a choice"

    So the other night for grandpa's death anniversary we went out to dinner. I got bingo'd by a family friend who never really talked to me much. She was asking if we were going to have kids soon. I told her politely no. We have a 1 bedroom apartment and 2 2 seater cars. No space for kids. She laughed uncomfortably. I laughed comfortably.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  5. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    "Oh... hahahah." "Hahaha." "Heh." "Mm."
     
    • Like Like x 3
  6. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    All the child free people here offer various excuses. I think they are operating on imperfect information. I think the question is, are there any parents who regret having children? Of course with birth control and planning you can have both. I was on my second house (a five bedroom) and had three cars at the time before I had my twins. So I'd say I was pretty successful at the child free lifestyle before having kids.
     
  7. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    If you'd have asked me when they were teenagers ...

    We all play the hand we are dealt, everyone second guesses their own decisions, and we're all child-free until we aren't. I won't accept anyone imposing their values on me and I try not to do it to anyone else.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. DamnitAll

    DamnitAll Wait... what?

    Location:
    Central MD
    Excuses and not reasons? Explain your perception of the difference.
     
  9. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    How about you focus on my point and not try to engage in the Internet debating game of distraction by parsing the finer meaning of an otherwise irrelevant word choice?
     
  10. DamnitAll

    DamnitAll Wait... what?

    Location:
    Central MD
    Don't blame me, I was an English major.

    ...a very happy, child free one at that.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    I think her comment is incredibly valid, assuming we want to be mature and have some debate.

    Why aren't the parents' comments excuses to rationalize their decision?

    Isn't their view just as imperfect, since they didn't live an entire adulthood without children? Isn't every viewpoint both unique and imperfect?

    More importantly, why would anyone even care to give the impression that one choice was right, and another is wrong, or at least inferior?
     
    • Like Like x 4
  12. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    So being an English major taught you to not focus on the point? Well if we're whipping out our sheepskins, my master's degree says stick to the point, not irrelevancies.
     
  13. DamnitAll

    DamnitAll Wait... what?

    Location:
    Central MD
    Dude. Chill.
     
  14. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    I'll reframe it so that so that the childfree people will understand. When you are asking about or making a decision about all the intricacies involved in having sex, do you talk to a virgin? Particularly a 40 year old virgin? Or do you speak to people that have actually had sex?
    Virgin: I heard people squish their naughty bits together, and there is lots of gross bodily fluids and sweating. And a chance of disease. And God gets really angry. And girls (or boys) have cooties. And then the other person wants to live with you and take all your money and toys.
    Experienced sexual being: Before I had sex, I had no idea what I was missing. Everyone said it was great,but until you try it you have no clue. It's messy, sure, but it really brings you closer to the other person if done properly. You have a chance at establishing an emotional bond and a chance at being a part of another person's life. You have to be ready to have sex, but when you do it right it will be fantastic and you will see the world differently.
     
  15. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    That's a weak strawman.

    Do I have to be a murderer for an informed decision on whether killing someone is bad?

    Do I have to have already experienced my vacation next month to believe it'll likely be pretty awesome?

    And does that mean that my answer should be the same as everyone's, and I should look down my nose at anyone who dares have a different opinion?

    I'd argue against all of that.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  16. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    No, your examples are weak. We are not talking about murder,or vacations. I chose a frame of reference that almost everyone engages in, that people get very passionate about, and that people who do it are very concerned about.
     
  17. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    They aren't necessarily excuses, as that would mean they are explanations for some fault or offence. I don't think this is the case for many who choose not to have kids. And we all have imperfect information. For example, do you know what your life would be like now (and in the future) if you never had children? No. You can speculate, and that's really the best we can do based on imperfect information.

    I know about the lives of parents and about the lives of child-free couples. I've seen both sides of the issue. I've chosen not to have kids. It was a choice I made for various reasons, many of which were influenced by those who have had kids and those who haven't. There are pros and cons of both. There is no right or wrong decision. It's a personal choice.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  18. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    That doesn't make your example any less of a straw man argument.

    It's also an extremely narrow minded viewpoint IMO. Especially when the impression communicated with it is one of some type of superiority based on the choice.

    But you are welcome to it.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    Since I have now had three last ditch debate tactics thrown against me
    1: attempting to distract with irrelevancies
    2: everyone's opinion is equally valid regardless of information or ignorance
    3: Your viewpoint is narrow-minded (I think you mean well-informed)
    I'm forced to Godwin this thread and declare myself the winner.
    Hitler had no children became a miserable little man. Gandhi had children, understood the importance of giving to the greater good. (Insert mic drop gif here). Boom!
    In the final arena, there will be no judges, only witnesses to my greatness.
     
  20. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    I'll give you this, that was just as compelling as the rest of your arguments. *hifive*
     
    • Like Like x 2