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need advice on a fight i had in a work meeting

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Lish, Mar 26, 2012.

Page 2 of 2
  1. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    There is a fine line between killing with kindness and killing with kusarigama.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Mar 28, 2012
    #21
  2. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    Me too. But now I had to respond to add in my me3.

    I believe that it's a peaceful resolution that is warranted.

    It's been a couple of days now. Ask the man to sit in a conference room with you and another neutral co-worker hopefully superior, and one who doesn't speak Arabic.

    Have that individual mediate to allow you guys to speak to each other and find out exactly what the issue is and how to rectify it. I specifically stated not speaking Arabic so that you try to remove as much of the baggage as possible that stems from cultural challenges.

    If there isn't a way to do that, agree to disagree, but to remain professional in dealing with each other and delivering work. Nothing good will come out of it if either of you provides shoddy work to the other individual.
     
    cynthetiq, Mar 28, 2012
    #22
  3. Lish

    Lish Very Tilted

    Location:
    Im here, but heart is somewhere else
    just an update since this went down

    i was expecting an abusive phone call the next day but it never came...not to me anyways. It looks like this guy subcontracts his dirty work out too. The builder got an abusive phonecall from someone on behalf of the excavation dude which went along the same lines of our meeting really, so this guy really hasnt learnt his lesson...and people ask me why i hate working with tradesmen.

    just for a bit of clarity, i dont have a boss, and i have my own construction and consulting company. I was engaged by the builder to project manage a part of the construction works for him, so im answerable to the builder in regards to the scope of my works that im engaged to do, which includes finalising the final account. In saying that, i cant really sack myself, and the builder hasnt indicated that he's unhappy with how i conducted myself. i did have the builders representative present in the room who happened to be chinese, and most of the conversations were in english. I would translate things to the builder to english anytime the contractor spoke in arabic, and i would then tell him to speak in english so that the builder knows what we're dicussing.

    as far as the ninja-ing is concerned, are you guys willing to enter into a dutch auction to provide me with ninja-services? and how long can you guys get here?

    as for lebanese people in general, i love my people to death and their hospitality is second to none, but geez they have a hot head sometimes.

    i did give this thing a lot of thought lately. ive been thinking whether i backed him into a tight corner. usually i would go into one of these meetings quite firm, and come out with a settled and comprimised position that both parties are happy with. Other times, i play bad cop, and the builder plays good cop, which is what i discussed with the builder before the meeting in order that he keeps good relations with his subcontractor. On paper this guy wasnt entitled to a penny, and a court or arbitration would have thrown his claim out in an instant if it did go down this path. so im thinking that the only outlet for this guy would be for him to blow up the way he did...im still scratching my head trying to figure out a way to avoid these sort of things in the future. im still digesting the whole thing.
     
    Lish, Mar 28, 2012
    #23
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Yes, but that being said...you're all professionals...and adults...who live in a land of laws.

    There are consequences to actions, you do your best...and people should respond in kind.
    If you don't do your best...then you should expect someone to call you on it. That's business.

    He didn't do his best...and if what you're saying is true, even worse that that.
    When I didn't do my job as a contractor, I didn't expect to get paid for it.
    If I wanted to get paid, then I expected to have to work for it and do decent quality. Again, that's business.

    If he blew up, well...he shouldn't, he farked up. (and he knew it, but was trying to get away with it)
    It was all bluff...problem is...you fell for it.
    And the problem is...when it gets physical, that's when youstart tredding into legal land. (not a good place to be)

    You've got to treat contract like revenge...best eaten cold.
    It's not personal, it's business...cold raw numbers and criteria.
    And if he didn't satisfy or do the work...then he didn't do the service...he doesn't get the money. (no matter what he planned for it.)

    And the problem is, you're now feeling for him...you shouldn't, he fucked up.
    This is why kids in sports should get trophies when they lose.
    Because in the real adult world, when you fuck up, you lose. (no matter how you feel)

    And in a land of laws, you can't attack first, no matter what. (because you may lose in court, with consequences)
     
    rogue49, Mar 28, 2012
    #24
  5. Indigo Kid

    Indigo Kid Getting Tilted

    Location:
    NE OHIO, and hating it.
    Keep us posted....we're hoping cooler heads prevailed after this all went down.
     
    Indigo Kid, Mar 31, 2012
    #25
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