my boyfriend keeps lying about little things!

Crying over a dead pet is fine. Same at funerals.

In movies? Sometimes - discreetly and deniably. Never in some wet chick flick though.

Sometimes it's OK to pretend you stifled a manly tear so that she thinks you are "sensitive" (in movies, I mean).

For the record, I don't like women crying out of self-pity either.

 

Ah-ha! The male equiv of faking an orgasm! I knew it existed. You're a fuckin' genius, Alistair.

 

Haven't been around too many, have you?

I totally just had a flashback to that one PurpleLirpa thread... god, that's so wrong.

 

It reminds me of the guy sitting on the stairs at parties trying to "console" the crying, drunk girl in the hope of getting his rocks off - she usually ended up throwing up all over him and he had to pretend it was OK.

My cousin's mother is in hospital. He's an ex Sergeant-Major - small but tough as nails. She started crying and saying she wanted to die. "OK" he said, "Get on with it then", and left. He came back the next day, but she'd gained a new determination and lost the self-pity. Funny how that works.

 

Men don't cry out of self-pity, they just moan and whine until our eyes roll back in our heads.

 

Yeah, that's a great tactic until she actually offs herself. I'm glad the SMaj doesn't work on a suicide helpline. Tough love is 50/50.

 

Then they are fools. Better to look stoic (and keep looking MORE stoic until the woman notices). That way, we gain points fpor not whining (but still get some sympathy).

"What's the matter, dear".

"Nothing at all. I'm fine, love. Let me get you a glass of wine". (that last sentence is crucial).

"You're limping!"

"No, I'm fine. It's only a minor fracture".

Usually, it works. Sometimes you get a tough one that says, "Well, if you're going to whine about it, I suppose I'll have to get my own wine". That's the one you usually marry. I'm getting married on Saturday. Hold me.

 

Better you than me.

Just learn how to play strum a few beats of Wonderwall... you'll need a periscope to see out from the pile of g-strings.

And don't compare yourself to Arkana. It's difficult living up to that level of pimpitude.

 

I must admit, I wouldn't have gone there. However, he knows his mum. She's 88 and tougher than he is.
--- merged: Aug 30, 2012 at 12:37 PM ---

You're trying to make me cry, aren't you?

Won't.

So there!

 

That reminds me of the time when I went back to my high school in Sydney a couple years after I graduated only to find all the punk idiots replaced by a huge amount of emos.

Never had any direct exposure to emos before that point and my amazement was huge.

I couldn't believe how retarded emos are.

...

I want to establish a civilian bootcamp and put Alistair's Sergeant Major in charge.

 

Stoicism only exists in the movies. In real life men take to the bed at the first sign of the sniffles and give you attitude if you don't fawn over them like a cancer victim.

And, hey, good luck!

 

Hey, if I'm ever cast as a reckless British secret agent in an over-the-top action flick involving way too many European sports cars and napalm explosions, I want you to play the role of my prostate-stomping, razor-wit-flingin' boss. Lotsa power suits. Lotsa sarcasm. Lotsa bitterness.

 

well, ok then!

 

FTFY.

And thanks for the good luck wishes. Best send the same wishes to Joniemack. She's going to need all the luck she can get.

 

this is why i need to move to europe.

 

If you don't like 'Merica, then you can just GIT OUT!