Massages

Doesn't really bug me. I stopped being super territorial when I realized that there is nothing you can (or should) do to control fidelity in a relationship.

I have no problem with my current woman getting/giving a massage. Seems to me that life is too short for this "only touch one other person" bullshit.

 

I think it all boils down to everyone being on the same page as their SO's comfort level as long as it is reasonable to you as well.

 

Mmm, I guess. I dare say most couples don't sit down and unload their entire rulebook on each other during date #3.

I'd imagine things are more like what I've experienced: Things happen, you get bitched at during the car ride home.

 

Heh, what do you call this? Accidental enlightenment?

 

Basically.

I mean, it would be creepy if it happened otherwise:

Date #3: "I'm not into anal beads. Bad experience. Don't try to persuade me otherwise."

 

This is how I feel about it also. I wouldn't have a problem with certain people we know giving my wife a back rub. I wouldn't want a stranger doing it but if it is someone I know well, it wouldn't bother me.

Its not like my wife wouldn't be there. The only time we ever see these friends is as a couple.

 

My fiance is an RMT. She values her skills/health and doesn't give massages to anyone but me unless they pay her and are professional about it. Even I only get massages once in a blue moon when she's up for it. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving anyone a massage because a) I'm not trained in it so it would suck and b) Because I'm not trained in it I fear it would be more about the touch than the massage.

 

I sure could use one. my husband went for one at a new place last week and saw a guy that worked at our old gym. That guy always creeped him out, lol so he told me when he saw this guy who does the massages and is creepy, he just had to run out of the place. I couldn't stop laughing. It's just to funny when you see how big my husband is. hehe. Anyway that is what he told me.

 

My ex was a tough one on this issue. She was a tomboy and had pretty much guy friends only, and frequently gave them massages (before, during and after I came along). I kinda drew the line when I found out she gave oiled massages for 1-2 hours to her male friends, in her bedroom, all by themselves, and with his shirt off and her sitting on him ("him" being multiple friends, but one at a time). This fact did give me strong indicators that as a tomboy she was extremely oblivious of friendship/intimacy lines and them being crossed. Her admitting that they probably wouldn't take her massages if she wasn't female didn't help either. Ultimately, it was the start of what eventually resulted in our break-up.

Current SO? No issues. We both have the exact same views on where lines are drawn, especially concerning bodily contact with the opposite sex.

On massages: I don't think I've ever had one. At least, I can't remember. I'm not counting the lengthy leg massage I got from a male chiropractor a few years ago, when scar tissue due to all the sparring fucked up my right knee.

When I was younger and still living at home, I have given my parents massages often, and apparently I was pretty good because they kept bugging me for it. My SO seems to be a really good masseuse, and she's promised me an especially-excruciating Thai massage when we finally live together.

I'm looking forward to it.

 

you should, thai massages are great!
The body to body part is fantastic, but highly sexual... you'll get a happy ending for sure ;-)

 

I would love to do that with my SO.

He is also very good at giving massages because he likes to touch the female form. I know it is sexual for him, so I might have a problem with it if he suddenly told me he gave one of his girl friends a massage...oh this just reminded me of another sexual fantasy!

 

Damn, my back is killing me and your only four hours away

 

I couldn't give a massage to a dude, and I would not be comfortable receiving one from a guy either. Even though it wouldn't be sexual in either situation. Heck, I prefer female hairdressers as well!

I think all the massages I've ever given have been to sexual/intimate partners, even if they didn't all lead to sex. I remember the first one I ever gave. I don't know how old I was; I'm thinking early teens. I was at my cousin's place, and his older cousin on the other side was babysitting us. She sat on the floor in front of me as I sat on the couch, and I rubbed her shoulders and upper back. She made appreciative noises, and soon pulled my feet into her lap, pressing them against her groin. I tried to help her with that, grinding my heels where I thought it might do some good. This went on for awhile as we all watched whatever happened to be on tv, my cousins never clueing in. But boy, there was some hasty adjustments and red faces when my uncle and aunt suddenly opened the door!

I think this is my first sexual experience, or at least my earliest memory... Not sure how it's affected my sexual nature, but I do know that to this day, giving my partner pleasure is a very important part of MY pleasure. Even if her pleasure is me getting my rocks off.

As far as my lady goes, I'd be fine with her getting a massage by a professional of either gender. I trust her judgement as far as friends go as well, and we're pretty "open" in terms of other people in our relationship. But I would prefer it not to be a regular thing, and I definitely prefer to be involved somehow with her orgasms.