Is porn ruining our love lives?

nope

 

When I read the words "blowjob, handjob, and money shot" written next that fat fucking nasty cigar smoking smug looking lizard spawn Rush Limbaugh avatar, I want to fucking .

It ruined a perfectly good thread for me which may please you to no end.

But you might want to consider changing out of your Rush costume now. He may have something to do with the reason why no chicks from here are PM'ing you nude shots of themselves in kinky positions.

You did know about that, didn't you?

 

Joniemack,

Let's be realistic about nudity on TFP: The only person sending naked shots of themselves in kinky positions is the_jazz.

I mean, what do you think happened to UsTwo? Old bean was what-has-been-seen-cannot-be-unseen'd to death.

...

Recent pop science article in (IIRC) October's Men's Health magazine (too lazy to find the source) stated that some recent study has shown that regular pornography consumption doesn't typically change a man's sexual proclivities assuming he's in regular relationships and not some sweaty fapping "forever alone" recluse. It further detailed that despite the extreme nature of most mainstream pornography "most" men did not exhibit a desire to engage in behaviors that they already haven't engaged in before. Men pick and choose pornography that suits their personal needs. FWIW.

From personal experience, I'd have to say it's true. I've spent months and months away from my source of hot-hot fuck action and my prostate has survived solely on crappy satellite TeeVee pornography. I'm still into the same stuff. I have no desire to tie my girlfriend up, gag her or hire a squad of pigment-endowed individuals with gold teeth and dicks the size of a Mk48 torpedoes to plug her up like some kind of two-fisted Whack-a-Mole. I'm still into a certain body type, a certain attitude and relationship and certain positions. No amount of canned gonzo garbage will change that.

The things I like to do to women I've been wanting to do to women since I first got laid. And if I'm a freak, it's because I've always been a freak.

 

This is the right answer and fails on the grounds of, "D&D turned me into a Satanist", "Ozzy told me to kill myself", and "Nobody told me that peanut butter contains peanuts". Which is to say that half of everyone is below average intelligence.

Course, my reply to that is, the way to raise the average is to make it easier for those with above average intelligence to reproduce and or harder for those below. And it seems that porn does that nicely. So... Carry on.
--- merged: Nov 2, 2011 3:49 PM ---

I actually have done that. When I was in my 20's it worked like a charm. Now that I am in my 40's it doesn't. 90% of my hardcore porn consumption has come (so to speak) between (as has 90% of my sex). Does that mean that porn has desensitized me, sex has desensitized me, or that 20 years of wear and tear has made it harder for me to get off?

I'd say, "Let's ask owl, he knows everything," but I don't want him biting my dick off after the third lick.

 

This focusing JUST on the physical sensation has worked for me a few times, but it's a completely different experience than watching someone else do whatever. It feels good, can feel good for a long time and the result is an orgasm...which is one of the hottest feelings there is. Porn stimulates in a different way, but it still ends up with that great orgasm. Not sure one is "better" - they are just different. I say do what feels good. Orgasms rock!

 

I'm taking a porn vacation to see if it makes a difference in my sex life. I hope the only difference isn't that I can't enjoy myself... Generally, otherwise I don't have much of a sex life.

 

She gave a interesting talk but not impressed by the website. Think she is right in what she is saying, just a shame the website is a bit rubbish

 

Apropos of sex education, this will appear in this coming Sunday's New York Times Magazine: ​

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/20/magazine/teaching-good-sex.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=magazine​

I'd love to see a more intelligent and sensitive and sex positive approach to sex education in this country.​

 

what love life? and no not really. i was the more sexually arousable one in my previous relationship and porn was a good way of keeping us both happy.

 

"A porn vacation" sounds like a good idea except I'd take as much porn with me as possible on the trip. Forget Disneyland! Sex is always better on vacation!

 

I may be wierd but I like porn with some sort of story. Not a long story....but something more than crotches and boners...

 

It may have been said already (possibly by Martian, and Baraka) but the issue isn't porn. It's porn in the absence of other education about sex and relationships, and/or used in extreme degree.

My parents did two helpful things for me in regard to preventing this kind of problem: first of all, they told me that the most important thing in a relationship was communication, and that (someday) when I had a girlfriend, everything would be okay if we talked honestly about our feelings and what we wanted from one another; they reinforced this relating to sexuality when I began to ask about that. Second of all, they brought me up to turn to books for answers, whatever my questions were. I was always told "Look it up," or given books in which lay answers to questions I'd asked. When I came to an age where I began to be interested in girls, they told me that there were books "for when I was older" in which information could be found about how to have sex, and what to do, and casually dropped the hint that such books could be found at the library. I went to the library, and with just a couple of minutes of use of the card catalog (remember those?), I came up with a whole stack of books, ranging from "The Joy of Sex" and books by Nancy Friday to "Our Bodies, Ourselves," which I took into a deserted corner of the library and read, cover to cover, coming back time and again for reference. I looked up subjects that those books made me think of, like female anatomy.

True, I also started looking at porn as soon as I could find some. But when I finally did get lucky, I was able to show the girl a very good time, because I had read about what to do, and what girls liked, and accounts also of negative experiences they'd had, so I knew what to avoid. Porn was good for visual cues and stuff, but the real deal came from reading, and from figuring out that the best things I could do to keep a girl happy were to be communicative and to do a lot of tongue exercises.

This knowledge has never failed me. It formed the basis for not only good sexual ethics in my life, but I have never had a problem satisfying a woman, except for the one who turned out to be a lesbian (and I still made her come, which has to count for something).

 

OK, rather than being flippant as I usually am, lemme try and be constructive and see if there's a third way here...
The Missus and I had a really bad patch about 2 months ago that almost ended it for us. After that conversation I had her full attention and she decided that she would 1) Try out being a sexual being first and an intellectual one second (This has been WONDERFUL) and 2) Read up on relationships. What she discovered is that there are different styles of how people show their love in a relationship, and how they want to be shown love. Me, I want to be touched, kissed, fucked, and entertained. She wants someone to do things for her - help with the house, listen to her rattle on about her day, that sort of thing (as you can tell, I have difficulties with the second, but just identifying that is a step toward fixing it.) The whole point of this long screed, then: Given that both of our conceptions of really good sex are informed by 1) 20 years of experience with each other (with good, bad, and indifferent sessions), 2) Written erotica, and 3) Porn probably in a 6:1:3 proportion, porn has only made the relationship better.

The key is to understand that not everyone likes everything in porn. If you try something and it doesn't work, try it once more to make sure it wasn't a fluke, and if it doesn't work again, then it's not for you.

 

Well written Tophat665. There is every kind of porn out there and lots of it isn't worth much. Some is worth giving a try and if you don't like it, move on. There's plenty more.

 

People have no shame now cos they live life like they are in pron. My mom's new boyfriend has 2 sons and when i was at there house i was watching tv and his 16yearold son was on the computer and i turned around and his hand was in his pants moving a lot.

 

"I accept that."

 

I'm pretty sure 16 year old boys would be doing that with or without the porn.
(I was a 16 year old boy myself, long ago.)

 

Did you say anything to him?

 

NO i dont like talking to him cos he seems nervous to talk to