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is my long term relationship over?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by MarksL, Dec 1, 2014.

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  1. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    After not communicating with her yesterday she sends me this last night

    I can't believe you ruined everything for something so stupid. You used to value our relationship more than anything and you just threw it all away and hurt me in so many ways. I hope you are satisfied with yourself.
     
    MarksL, Dec 3, 2014
    #21
  2. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    I would just politely and simply tell her that you feel the relationship is over, and you wish her the best going forward. Box up all her stuff (if there is anything left) and drop it off at her parents' house. Then remove her from all social media, delete her number, and (as tempting as it will be to keep tabs on her somehow) completely severe ALL contact. Move on, it isn't healthy for either of you at this point.

    Then, going forward, try to figure out what parts of the problem you contributed to. This one sounds like there is plenty of shared blame, so figure out what parts you are responsible for and work on realistic ways to improve yourself. Live and learn, and try not to repeat relationship mistakes the next time around.
     
    Borla, Dec 3, 2014
    #22
  3. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Location:
    Central North Carolina

    Without reading the other comments, I say move on. Heck, sue her for half the lease payments also.
     
    Cayvmann, Dec 3, 2014
    #23
  4. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    I did exactly that borla I acknowledged that our relationship was over several times in an email. I also told her I hoped she finds happiness moving forward.
     
    MarksL, Dec 3, 2014
    #24
    • Like Like x 2
  5. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    So I went on a date last night... How bad of an idea was that?
     
    MarksL, Dec 4, 2014
    #25
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    As long as you handled it like you would a normal date back when you were unattached (assuming that you're not a weirdo :D), I say not a problem.
     
    Chris Noyb, Dec 4, 2014
    #26
    • Like Like x 2
  7. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Sounds like you are making an effort to move on. Good for you!
     
    genuinemommy, Dec 4, 2014
    #27
    • Like Like x 1
  8. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    It felt good to go out. I had been hanging out with this girl as just friends with a group of people for a few weeks as I have known her for 13 years or so. I'm 27 btw. We are hanging out tomorrow night again. I am doing my best to move on I don't think I'm ready for a relationship but I ready to have fun again without putting pressure on myself.
     
    MarksL, Dec 4, 2014
    #28
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    Did you have the slightest idea you might ask her out prior to this last blowup with the ex?
     
    Borla, Dec 4, 2014
    #29
  10. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    This particular girl and I have always had a strong connection but neither one of us made the first move. So I decided to take a shot at it and she seemed to be really excited. To answer your direct question no.
     
    MarksL, Dec 4, 2014
    #30
  11. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    Just as I suspected my ex gf who broke up with me called me last night begging and pleading for me to come home. She was hysterically crying and apologizing. I told her I have been under the impression that we were over and that we definitely need some time apart. I explained she can't just say sorry and everything gets better.
     
    MarksL, Dec 7, 2014
    #31
  12. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    If you are still asking for advice, I suggest the same thing I did above. If you think it is over, make it over. Stop taking hysterical calls, remove social media contact, don't exchange emails or texts, etc. Just tell her it is over and remove all contact.
     
    Borla, Dec 7, 2014
    #32
    • Like Like x 4
  13. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    Block her phone number and email. It's easier to move on not hearing/reading the hysterics.
     
    RedSneaker, Dec 7, 2014
    #33
    • Like Like x 2
  14. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    This is true. Fortunately I don't have a Facebook or any social media as beginning this year she made me delete my Facebook
     
    MarksL, Dec 8, 2014
    #34
  15. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    What was her reasoning? Does she have one?
     
    Borla, Dec 8, 2014
    #35
  16. MARKSL

    MarksL New Member

    She did have one. Her reasoning was she felt it would tempt me to cheat as it's really easy to "hookup" with girls on there. I don't really miss it but it's easy to stay in some loose form of contact with friends. No worries though
     
    MarksL, Dec 8, 2014
    #36
  17. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    Sounds like she enjoys treating all the symptoms, but never addressing the root of her insecurities.


    Honest question, did she have a reason to worry?
     
    Borla, Dec 8, 2014
    #37
  18. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    Fuck that bitch.

    And stop sticking your dick in crazy. and girls don't put crazy dick in your va jay jay.
     
    cynthetiq, Dec 8, 2014
    #38
    • Like Like x 3
  19. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North


    I remember a writer who wrote a list of things who made a list of things men should do in their life and one of them was sticking their dick in crazy but just once and then get as far away as you could.
    The logic was that crazy was pretty fucking amazing pussy and that way you could recognize it in the future to know how to avoid it.
    My argument against that would be this thread.
     
    redravin, Dec 8, 2014
    #39
  20. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Too late. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt, donated it to the thrift store.
     
    snowy, Dec 8, 2014
    #40
    • Like Like x 1
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