Is it okay to accept an ex's friend request if you're in a relationship/married?

Jadzia didn't care that I was friends with my ex wife (after all so was she) and I didn't care that she was friends with a couple of her ex's.
The fact is we trusted each other explicitly and both of us thought jealousy was bullshit.
Not all couples work that way.
I can't speak for your partner.

 

I should perhaps clarify what I said earlier: I myself am friends on FB with my two most significant exes, as well as at least one woman I had a fling with way back when. But I had been friends IRL with these women, and with absolutely excellent boundaries and no desire on anyone's part to be romantic or sexual with one another anymore, for a long time before I even met Mrs. Levite. So she was aware from the start that I was actually real friends with my exes (and not just casual acquaintance friends, or awkward greeting friends, but like read one another's professional work, speak on the phone frequently friends), and that there was zero chance of inappropriateness. She also knew me well enough to know that I would never, ever cheat on her-- not with an ex, not with a friend, not with a stranger, not with anyone.

 

As long as you are not liking or commenting on every post, it's ok. Does your partner have exes for FB friends?

 

I'm FB friends with my first wife, as is my current wife, and it doesn't seem to be an issue, but it's been 11 years since our divorce. Time does heal. Perhaps wait a bit...

 

A lot of people get super insecure when they're around a third party that has fucked their partner. On a long enough time line, it's gonna happen. It should happen... unless you're dating a loser.

I use the zero contact and distance routine, myself. See new things, make new friends, fuck new meat. Once again, social media is turning us into big babies that can dwell in the past out in cyber-public.

Seriously, before ye olde FaceySpace, the only times you ever ran into your ex was at the grocery store between deployments or if you were chilling in her bushes at 2245 waiting for her to get back from the club.

If there is friendship value, then they're your friend, not your ex and you should label them ("...we fucked, however, we are now...") as such for both your sanity and the sanity of your partner. Labels are super important.

 

The advice re staying just friends with EXs is sound.

But it all depends one one or both parties. In this case a clean break sounds like the solution.

 

still saying


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