I have a theory

That reminded me of an episode of Voyage of the Scarlet Queen I have in my MP3 collection from very likely 1947 (top of my head, not doublechecking right now) where the crew of the Tramp Steamer is on some Eastern/Oriental port. A local crooked merchant is killed on the ship, with his throat slit ear to ear and stabbed in the back. The local police chief takes one look and instantly calls it suicide.

 

Anyone driving a doolie with a sack of balls hanging from the jack either has a tiny penis or is afraid of contracting homosexuality.

Only the obese actually use the motorized shopping carts and special parking spaces meant for the disabled.

Right wing, evangelical Christians don't get satire, irony, or sarcasm. Right wing radio talk show hosts don't either.

A Christian fish has never been spotted on a Subaru Outback.

A woman who shops L.L. Bean and drives a Land Rover has never worked for a living or had an orgasm with her husband.

There is no one on the other end of most cellphone conversations carried on by those constantly talking on their cellphone.

 

Eh, I think they enjoy toilet humor and are the first ones to laugh when someone falls down and the last to go help said faller.

When I shattered my ankle, I used those carts and the handicapped spaces. I earned the right to. Those carts are cool as hell! I do agree about the truly obese using them and while I understand the difficulty in walking, walking would help them not to have to use the carts down the line. My brain keeps silently yelling at them, "Get up and walk and maybe you wouldn't be so obese!". Same thing with the parking. Thank goodness for working frontal lobes.

 

We are so headed in that direction, I fear...not that I should talk, needing to lose at least 40 lbs. At least I'm trying, though...

 

I''ve got to puzzle this one through.....my wife drives an Outback, sure as hell won't be sporting any Christian fish, works pretty damn hard, and shops at LL Bean.
And unless she's a great faker....the O's are happening regularly.

 

The hell is a Christian fish?

 

--- merged: May 28, 2012 at 4:45 PM ---

Unless I read the post wrong long as the wife isn't driving a Land Rover she's probably not faking it.

 

You and she are off the hook as long as your Missus isn't driving that Land Rover.

Fortunately, my theories are not inter-changeable. If they were, I might worry as well if she was driving a doolie.

 

OVLOV is said to be the last word that many bikers see in their mirrors before tragedy strikes and the bike and rider get wrecked. Do you have an equivalent ngdawg? I guess in the early days, if you were a crap driver its really sensible to get side impact protection and fit a tow bar.
The fish people do tend to be crappy drivers - as they carve you up or whatever, you glimpse the fish and think Aaah. A fish person. No wonder. I put it down to their sincere belief in the afterlife myself.

 

Not really car-related, but a theory nonetheless: I am usually invisible to women in real life, but whoever is building women's locker rooms is putting something in during the construction phase that negates my super-power; I just haven't figured out what, though.

 

I don't know why you bother with shoes, MMG.

 

I have a theory that "liberal" gun owners are quite often more physically fit than their "conservative" counterparts.

I have a theory that the more Christian you claim to be, the greater the chance of you being white, wealthy and obese.

I have a theory that girls that wear their panties on the outside of their garters are the ones with which you want to party.

I have a theory that if there is duct tape holding your car together that your house probably looks like a teen girl's bedroom.

I have a theory that Baraka_Guru talks in Ebonics when you get him drunk. Let's all pitch in for a big bottle of Hpnotiq.

I have a theory that most people are willing to spend $100 on a pair of shoes, but usually wear cheap big box store socks.

I have a theory that the US Army constantly changes uniforms to compensate for the fact that they can't decide on a new rifle.

I have a theory that modern technology has made life substantially easier for women and slightly more difficult for men.

I have a theory that most women would be really into a Chapstick ice cream. You know, with chunks of real Chapstick.

I have a theory that Dunkin Donuts only hires Indian women and that Starbucks only hires androgynous homosexuals.

I have a theory that Missouri, Ohio and Delaware aren't actually part of the United States, but their own shitty countries.

 

I'm caught somewhere between "ew, gross!" and "shut up and take my money!" Hmmm.

 

Exactly.

 

I don't really have an equivalent. The only time I dropped a bike, I wasn't moving!I do subscribe to the theory, though, that Volvo drivers have a strong false sense of invincibility and are the Mitt Romneys of the highways-no clue what everyone else is doing.

 

Came across this infographic, (c 2010) and it touches on just a few of the issues already debated earlier (car colour, cell phone use, teenagers)

Linky: Researchers have found many different facts and data to analyze causes of crashes to prevent them in the future. Here’s some interesting statistics about car accidents.

 

THIS. Thank you. That is all.