I can't believe I am thinking about

This. Ever so this. Even though I ended up staying with my wife (and am 80% happy with that decision), oh my but I wish I had come to this point 13 years ago.

 

Sounds like you've made a decision and I've come to this thread too late for an extended reply. As someone who has been cheated on, I can only say be prepared, if you someday do get involved in a triangle to let the person you (generally speaking--not you specifically) betray have some form of resolution, regardless of how you feel about the relationship. The betrayed person's feelings are equally important. If they are trampled on, dismissed, or minimized, it only makes the affair seem that much worse to them and harder to understand. People in an affair--even an emotional one, oftentimes (not always--but in my case), minimize the impact of the emotional betrayal using words like "support" and "special friendship" and "platonic". It still hurts the person who feels betrayed and their feelings deserve consideration and closure. And if you are the person interfering in another couple's intimacy and you know it and you don't stop, then you are still guilty of wrong because you are knowingly creating a rift in someone else's relationship.