How To Get To Heaven When You Die

Amen.

 

I have renamed my wife's lady parts "Heaven". I hope to get there someday... Is praying like begging? I do that a lot.

 

^^^Purgatory is like second base.

 

That's more of a Catholic thing. I'd suggest going protestant and skipping that step.

 

Sure, as long as you don't end up mired in Calvinism. Nothing like a little predestination to rain on one's parade....

 

My wife's body is a temple. I attend services as often as I'm allowed....

The problem with the Catholic deal is you have to go to confession every time you fuck up. I think the Jewish people have it right. One day of atonement, and you're good for the year. Easier to keep up that way....



I'm screwed no matter what. I'm sure I've seriously pissed God off at this point.

 

Relevant:

 

This is my favorite thread.

 

Some people are always seeking and never satisfied. We need some form of answers and all of us look for them. As long as your sister doesn't end up under the influence of a truly harmful cult, she will be fine (if only a little annoying )

 

This phrasing always reminds me of my grandfather (bless his memory), who was confronted by a missionary asking, "Sir, have you found Jesus?" To which my grandfather replied, "I didn't even know he was lost."

 

Have they, in turn, found her?

Some of us are just plain seekers. Never really find the answer; if there is one...

 

In what sense?

 

OK, ya gotta elucidate on that one. I've read the Divine Comedy; but it's been a while.

 

I'm really confused about how that relates to Judaism's view of god....