How To Get To Heaven When You Die

That doesn't seem like a sad fact at all. Source criticism and science may occasionally be challenging for theology, but they're not mutually exclusive with it, or even a threat to it. But one must be flexible and willing to work with nuances and gray areas, and the problem with fundamentalism has always been its rigidity and black and white nature.

I confess, I don't find a lot of spiritual nourishment in source criticism, though I think it absolutely important to study and deal with. But I do often find spiritual nourishment in science, or at least in reading and hearing about science (since I myself have such abysmal math skills that actually doing science is not really a prospect for me): astronomy, physics, biology, psychology, all have given me spiritual insights and inspiration at one time or another. And probably other sciences, too, of which I'm just not thinking at the moment.

When fundamentalists of any religion deny or ignore the complexity, the vastness, and the grandeur of the universe and the human being as shown through the scientific lens, they limit the glory of the Creator. Which is a shame.

 

Got my sentence mixed up. Must have been the Sangria....

What I meant to say was I find reading the theologies and critical analyses enriching, and I think it would actually provide a Christian with a more enriched experience of their faith; but the fundamentalists turn their back on such things. That's what I deem sad.

 

Yes. We are entirely in agreement!

 

Several years ago, My cousin was playing with a lighter in his bedroom. He caught a newspaper or comic book or something on fire and threw it on his bed. There were several people sleeping there. The whole house went up in flames. Everyone got out except for my 3 year old cousin sarah. They had written her off as dead. The whole house was in flames and filled with smoke. An off duty fireman happened to be driving by and saw the smoke. He stopped to help. He looked into the bedroom window and saw her sitting under the window with her hands on her head. He pulled her out and she was burned and has some scars to this day. He asked her how she knew to come over to that window and sit on the ground. She said that the man in the fire told her "Don't be afraid, to go over to the window sit down and put your hands over your head and face". Years later, she recounted her story with me. She said that the man had no face, light shining from it, he was 3 feet tall and dressed in white. He was floating in the corner of the room. My Grandparents were deeply committed Christians. Often times my Grandmother would be up all night, having trouble sleeping, praying for the safety of the family. At the same exact time that the fire was going on, my grandmother was several miles away sleeping in her bed. She heard a voice that told her "There's been a fire, Liz and the kids got out ok". A few minutes later, my Grandfather got the call on the phone "There's been a fire, liz and the kids got out ok" He tried to tell her what they said, but she already knew. The reason that God Spoke to her, I believe, is because it was HER prayer that the Lord was answering. Otherwise, my cousin would have died in the fire.

 

Oh really? Well my dad was an industrial arts teacher, then taught special education, then went back to law school and worked for the state department of the environment prosecuting illegal dumpers and chemical spills. He died of cancer at age 48. My mom was a teacher her entire life. Died of cancer at 59. Neither smoked, drank, did drugs, or worked in heavy industry. They lived good lives that benefited other people. If there is a god, he deserves no worship, just oblivion. The real likelihood is that there is no god. But if there were, he is a monster that deserves destruction. Your story of god almost killing those people and leaving a 3 year old blameless innocent kid scarred and in pain is disgusting. What's more fucked up is that you see this as somehow a good thing. You are seriously demented. I don't know how people could worship something that would let this happen.

 

I am pretty much in line with this:

 

Hey TFP,

I'm really thinking about posting my "How To Go To Hell When You Die" guide but I'm not sure it would be as well-received as this.

Thoughts?

 

Go for it; but it seems most of us have that figured out.

Gonna be one hell of a party.

 

My controller told me this joke (helps if you understand how accounting/consulting firms work).

Guy dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter says, "You get to choose whether you go to heaven or to hell. You'll spend a day in each, then you can decide."

So he starts in hell. It's a party. Music, gorgeous women, wine, the whole 9 yards.

Then heaven. Nice. Peaceful. Boring.

So back to St. Peter who asks what he's decided. He says, "Well, heaven was nice, but hell was a blast. I choose hell."

So back to hell he goes. Desolate. Flames. Wailing and gnashing of teeth. He says to the devil, "Hey! What's the deal? This place was a blast the other day!"

The devil replies, "Oh, well then we were recruiting you. Today, you're staff."

 

Or, you know, the military.

 

They sent me to a place much worse than hell: Ft. Leonard Wood....

 

THIS VIDEO WILL EXPLAIN HOW THE NEW TESTIMENT OF THE BIBLE WAS CANONIZED (CAME TO BE):

WHOLE VIDEO:

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=D76LD7NX

 

So, leaving aside for a moment the extremely troubling theological conclusions this story seems to suggest you hold, what I really question is why you posted it at all. While an interesting story, it bears no apparent relation to Christianity in particular-- unless you are proposing the ridiculous notion that God only answers the prayers of Christians or does miracles for Christians. But-- perhaps optimistically-- I cannot believe that you would actually espouse such an idea.

So what, precisely, did you imagine the point of posting the story to be?

Seriously, dude: stop with the videos. Even at their best, "informational" videos like these seldom provide either reliable accuracy, adequate (or any) sourcing, or any of the context a decent book on the subject will offer.

But if you are going to use videos, just presume from the outset that anything posted on a site called "godtube.com" is going to be doctrinal narrative, or, at best, inadequately sourced and partially uncritical material: it will not be credible to anyone except another Christian of your theological persuasion.

 

I clicked on the link. After a lot of buffering all I got was an error message.

 

Rather than posting cut & paste & videos, I wish the OP would join the discussion and tell us HIS thoughts on the matter. Rather than the thoughts of the propaganda machine he buys into. After all, he started this discussion and frankly I think it's been a good one in spite of his lack of contribution.

 

Isn't hell warmer?

 

Do you want to know the facts or do you want my opinion, because I can give you either or. What would you like my opinion on?

 

So far, you have not presented either facts or your opinion.

 

Just read this thread (excepting the bulk of the OP's c&p blasts of uncritical God-pop). I particularly enjoyed Levite's scholarship (always have, always will), and SirLance's well-read and considered posts. My top 2 favourite nuggets (gawd knows where I culled them from in this 12 pages and counting thread) I have copy/pasted into a notepad document for my own future consideration.

A clear articulation of my own beliefs. Thank you, sir

This is so, so true - it ought to be engraved in titanium or some such obdurate material.

I need to drop a graphic in here. Almost a random selection - I have saved lots of stuff over the years.

 

You beat me to saying that very same thing!