How to ask talk about living together without scaring him?

What about books? Did you have books?

 

Sploosh.

 

FTFY

 

Oh, c'mon. I only suggest unicorns and rainbows to fuck with your head

 

Project rooms?! Is that what you kids call them today?

 

Mine would have floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, and a big overstuffed couch. And an Atari.

 

I went and checked my book collection:
XXX Sex Tonight
The Kama Sutra (About 3 different Versions)
Oral Sex He'll Never Forget

Suddenly - I'm not sure why I'm not getting laid.... Oh yeah, that was a choice... Might need to rethink that one....

Seriously though... I think 3 and maybe 4 of us have told you that as we have gotten older, we realize we should have lived by ourselves as opposed to living with a significant other.

Me - I was married at 21 and divorced at 24. I lived in college housing which I was not responsible for paying my own rent in my first year of college, and after that with my fiancee/husband. When I was about 24/25 I went out and signed my lease on my VERY OWN place. It was a very empowering decision. I did have my own place. I really didn't get laid that often since I was reeling from a divorce and just not ready for that. (When I finally was, I went to his place and his daughter called me Mama... Is it any wonder I have commitment issues?)

Since then, for the most part, I've lived on my own, made my own decorating choices (no red/black/chrome schemes going on - but I do have a chocolate/saphire blue thing + LG) I pay my own rent, pay my own bills. Sometimes I'm short and have to forgo meetings with friends and sushi - but I make it work.

Bottom line - I won't compromise or take less than when it comes to a relationship. If I'm just around as convenient piece of ass, he needs to be upfront and honest about - here is what it is. And I've been told on several occasions that I am very blunt when I want to know something or say something. ~ Until this thread I pretty much took it as a ??? Compliment ??? .... (I say that because they complimented me and then ran away like they were scared.) After, I will take it as confirmation I was doing it right.

Short of hitting them over the head with a baseball bat and dragging them back to my woman cave.

(I can be very witty and sarcastic when I'm drunk and reeling from a KU loss..... or rude and hard to understand... lmk )

 

I like aluminum bats.

 

Seems like an easy barometer reading on where the relationship actually is (vs. how you want it to be). If you are having trouble communicating these things, you might not be ready to move in together. It doesn't seem like outside factors like time, distance, financials, etc. are getting in your way here. Perhaps communication on these issues and feelings you've had during this is a good step. Judging from your talk of some sort of plan before you are 30, you might want to talk to him about that, too. Those sorts of assumptions are real relationship killers if both people aren't on the same page. Even if you have brought them up, if you guys aren't communicating well, you guys might be on different pages as far as timelines for those things and how important they are. Personally, I find arbitrary deadlines for relationships and marriage-like things lame. Those would be things I would want my partner to talk to me about if they were important to them.