How rude is it if in-laws exclude you from a family dinner?

Why not just invite her to something you plan?

People can have weird hangups about things sometimes. I can definitely say in laws don't go away - how they act now is what is going to be reality for at least the near future. You just have to decide what things are important and know when to just back off.

I have some first hand experience with "WTF why the hell are they doing this??" moments from my in laws - my husband's father did not attend our wedding despite being invited.

 

That sister is a turd. Say "Whatever" and walk away. No big loss.

 

In laws not invite ME to a family dinner????. I chalk it up as a win, order a pizza, and watch TV in my boxers that night.

 

Well this appears to be a different issue but I suspect it may be the core issue around which all other issues orbit.

You've brought this up on another thread if I'm not mistaken and if memory serves me right, you received some very well thought out advice. Maybe dig up that thread and give it another read as it seems to me that, though time has gone by since then, your relationship has remained the same - with neither you nor your boyfriend making any appreciable changes towards moving forward or, in your case, moving on.